Our next “incident” was actually stemming from a major fuck up on my part, but what ensued made me realize I was into this cuck lifestyle.
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Our sophomore year we’d been together coming up on a year, just short of 11 months. Like her our first night I got drunk and I fucked up, I cheated with this girl. I regretted it immediately the next day, my then gf was head and shoulders better than this girl in every way, objectively and subjectively. She was just the campus bicycle and this night she picked me to take a ride, but beyond that I felt awful for doing that to my gf.
I figured my best shot at salvaging this was to be upfront and apologetic. Keeping it a secret was never an option they way word traveled around that school. I tell her I need to come over and talk, when I do I lay it all out, how drunk I was, how sorry I was, how much I hated it and myself. I through myself at her feet(figuratively). And told her I would do whatever to make this ok. I expected anger, probably tears, but what I got was stone face. Stone face through the whole story, asking her anything was quick short, yes or no answers and by the time I got done groveling. She just stood up pointed to the door, and said “go…we’re done.” I sat there begging and crying but only for a moment because i didn’t even get a response.
I went back to my room and sulked, all day into the night, no drinking no partying just sitting, staring at a tv screen until I eventually fell asleep. I woke up and planned on doing the same thing again, and again the next day until my Tuesday morning lecture. But a few hours after waking up I get a text from her. It was a video message, it’s a little shakey before it finally focuses, it’s my now ex gf struggling to stand up straight, it’s night time and she’s standing on the what looks like the outside of a busy local bar, popular for being less than strict with their id checks. She’s flocked by two guys, one white and one black and all three are cursing me upside down, laughing. She’s telling me to go fuck myself, the two guys are saying the same, saying how I fucked up. I was definitely upset, upset at myself for what I’d done, upset at her for how she was acting at what seemed like an attempt to rub it in my face, but that was nothing compared to what I got next.
After a minute or so of watching and sulking I get another video. The thumbnail is a picture of her face, smiling, eyes glazed over after a long night of drinking. I start the video it takes only a second for my heart to sink. I realize 2 things, she’s on her knees and she isn’t the one filming. I need to stop here momentarily and preface I am by no means small down there, 7.5” decent girth, many times in that first year she told me how I was the biggest shed ever been with. Now whether she was just lying to me to make me feel good is irrelevant, because if it was the truth at the time it is not true anymore. Coming from the bottom of the frame was the biggest black cock I had seen other than on the internet. It came on the screen and seemed like it kept going, it must have been nearly 10” because where she had no problem fitting me she couldn’t even get the last couple inches down, it was girthier than her forearm and it wasn’t even close, I wouldn’t be surprised if she flexed next to it, it might be on par with her bicep.
This is where I finally got the tears from her, but not the ones I was expecting, tears from the repeated attempts to get this massive cock down her throat. I felt sick, watching the love of my life like this, but i couldn’t look away. Eventually the cameraman orders her onto the bed, which she happily obliged. As i watched him bring his cock to her pussy I remember thinking ‘anatomical, biological, physically I don’t think that’s possible.’ The video goes on for another 10 minutes or so to prove me wrong. It stated slow, he took a few slow pumps to even get in all the way, seeing the stretching and gripping on his shaft with every pump, gradually getting faster and harder at this point the cameras not even focused on anything just bouncing around the room all I hear is the sounds, the rhythmic slapping of their two bodies. Anything after that has had to live in my imagination because that’s where the video ends. She got her message across and seems like she had a lot more to deal with at the time.
After the video ended I sat in silence for what felt like hours. The feeling in that moment was indescribable, it was a gut punch deep inside, mixed with sadness, inadequacy, helplessness, and the most confusing one, so incredibly turned on. I really couldn’t help it, I watched it 4 or 5 times, the feeling of shock and sadness going away little by little each time but just getting more and more turned on.
I wrestled with it in my head, on one hand there is no bigger slap in the face than what she just did, but on the other…I started it. So that’s what I decided to go with, I sent back a text saying something stupid like “fun night lol.” She took a bit to reply and even after that she was still pissed, but we argued for the rest of the night and into the next day and we eventually decided to call it even and try to start over
(P.S. We fucked a few days after, I lasted maybe 2 minutes. I told her it was because I was so happy to be back with her and how I hadn’t relieved myself since I was so upset. In reality it was the fact she was still stretched out.)