My (30m) wife (32f), after long months of role play, has finally decided that she wanted us to have our first time. I let her take the lead, but was present and available throughout the whole thing – from picking a guy, to setting up the place. We were both super excited.
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The big day arrived, and we were both super excited (and aroused, and a bit apprehensive). It all started very slow, with drinks and chat, and I was supposed to just sit there and watch her, but after a while enjoying a passionate time with her date (28m, alpha, the works), things got pretty wild and in the heat moment she asked me to join them.
It was fantastic, she let herself go, and we ended up doing most mmf things one could think of – except bi stuff, apart from striking him a little and helping him back inside her. She ended up with my load inside of her, and a facial from him.
He showered and left, I washed her body, gave her a foot massage while reassuring her and paying her all sorts of compliments, and then we cuddled until she fell asleep. She was exhausted, but glowing. I felt like she really enjoyed beingdesired so much.
I had to leave early in the morning, so I left a note with her breakfast (I always prepare her table). She messaged me when she saw my message, said that she had a wonderful night, that we definitely should do it again, and signed it with a heart. The date was Thursday evening, the texting Friday morning.
We had a movie night Friday last night, and a restaurant yesterday (Saturday). I tried to be as loving as possible, reassuring her in our relationship without a specific agenda or bringing Thursday's date up, but she seemed different, a bit detached. Today I took her out for breakfast and out of the blue (as far as I can understand) she told me how she was feeling used, and dirty, and that what we did was pure porn – that she felt like a piece of meat, that she felt no intimacy whatsoever, that she wasn't willing to indulge that, and wanted to trash all our toys, too.
I was speechless – still am. We spoke about it at length, and I did my best to be understanding and reassuring. We eventually smoothened things over, but I'm almost sure that it will take some more work to process this. I don't know what to think, and accept insights from more experienced players.