I don't know how many parts this is going to be/could be, but the further along I go in my life my biggest fetish/fantasy that won't leave my brain is my desire to be a cuck. It's also the one fetish I don't feel comfortable talking with in my real life. The longer I want to be a cuck, the more it's on my mind, the more I need somewhere to vent/talk to about it so here it is.
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At this point in my life I truly love the idea of being a cuck. I don't want to be a sissy, I don't want to be humiliated, I just want to share my wife/girlfriend with men, specifically BBC that will fuck her senseless. The more into it I get the more cuck porn/stories I see the more I'm in love with it.
I want the bulls sloppy seconds, but I don't want to be… bitchy about it? I don't want to eat the load, I don't want her to demean me while I watch. I don't want to do size comparisons. I just want my partner to have a bull that fucks her pussy roughly once or twice a week. At first I was against her sucking his dick, but that didn't last long. Through my love for bbc/ a girlfriend that pleasures a black man I quickly found myself knowing I was okay with her sucking him off.
The problem was that I wasn't interested in it with any girl I was dating. When I was with them, it was all about them, they were the only thing I thought about. When I went home I only wanted to watch cuck porn. I even felt weird about not wanting to be cucked by the women I was with. But no matter how much porn I watched it didn't translate to real life relationships.
Then I dated a girl. Redhead, massive tits, massive perky ass on a tight body, not very attractive, but she was known for being free use. She loved all types of sex. She was game for anal, loved sucking dick and loved anything filthy. She was an incredibly lay. But early on in the relationship she kept asking if I was bi, to which I said no. She didn't clarify why for awhile until finally during sex she asked again and I said no, again, and she very seductively said into my ear "you know what I want to do? I want you naked, on the bed, on all fours, with your face buried in a black mans crotch with his dick down your throat and another pounding your ass."
I was shocked and stopped the sex. We had a mini argument but she explained that she wanted a bi boyfriend that would share black men with her. That she knew I wasn't into men but she wanted me to just try it, for her. I refused, but didn't tell her that I might be interested in her having sex with them. As time went on she was doing all that she could to convince me. I literally got anal twice in one day as a way for her to say "see how much I love it? You'll love it too."
She upped her tactics. She gave me the sloppiest slowest insane blowjob/ball suckings/rim jobs while having me watch gay bbc porn. It wasn't working, I still wasn't on her side but it was such passionate oral that I couldn't give it up. I just kept agreeing to watch more. It was so good I almost agreed just to keep it going, I was more willing to let her go black but I wasn't interested myself.
We dated around two months. It was intense sexually, but besides sex there was literally nothing to her except that she was incredibly insufferable as a person. She was rude and unenjoyable. I had to break up with her. Though we never invited a bull in anyway I was excited that there were women that were interested in it. She made it clear that it was more about me getting dick than her getting any, though she admitted that her dream was both of us in the same bed, shoulder to shoulder in doggy, each having two black men to DP us from both ends.
This was longer than I thought, so now I realize I'll need to make the next girlfriend my part 3. See ya then.