It started as a break up. When she sat in my room, I cried, while she looked at me. She was helpless, sad but also not really too bothered by it all. She had long planned it by now.
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We were living in a long distance relationship. Two early 20 something’s that didn’t know how life went once you left your home town. After a while, frustration grew and problems tore us apart.
For her, it was the will to explore herself. Go out, party, be unbound. Be able to flirt and experience. She didn’t outright tell me that, but in the night I cried, I realized that this was her intention. She loved me, but she didn’t want to be only with me. At least not for this part of her life.
I talked to her about that. Naive, in love and so eager to pleasure I allowed her to see others. Flirt with others. Fuck others. As long as she stayed with me.
And so, I kept staying at her place.
It was now Saturday night and I slept in her room. She was working late at night in a club in her college town as a waitress. She usually came home at 2 or 3 in the morning. It was 6:30 by now and the light started to say hello through her blinds, when the door to her room opened.
It was her. She smiled at me. I smiled at her. She was beautiful. A long black dress, shoulders revealed. Her hair was a little messy. Her makeup a little wild. I knew where she had been. She sat down on the bed and just stared at me. She smiled with a shy grin. I smiled back. „It’s okay.“ I said.
She threw her leg over me, slid her body on top of me and crouched over my face. She didn’t wear any parties anymore.
„I did it.“ she said.
I knew. And I got hard.