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This is part five of my series of my journey to be a cuck. If you haven’t read any of my other parts (and it’s been awhile since I last posted,) I encourage you to go to my profile and find them.
If not. Here’s the quickest rundown of each part. 1) I was younger when I realized how much I loved bbc porn, how much I loved watching black men fuck women, loved watching solo bbc jerk vids, considered letting them fuck me, and the instant I discovered what being a cuck was I knew I wanted to live that life style. At the time I had a lot of rules for if it were to happen.
2) dated a girl that had a hyper sex drive. Bareback anal, constant blowjobs, rimmed me. But she encouraged me to “be bi” or “fake being bi,” because she wanted to watch me be fucked. Specifically by black men. She told me she also wanted to fuck bbc, but she was more interested in having me bottom for them. She would blow me while making me watch gay interracial porn. Admittingly, man on man grosses me out, I cant watch it, but the thought of black cock inside of me does turn me on. My pride wouldn’t allow me to even attempt anything she wanted from me. We broke up because outside of the intense sex, she was awful to be around.
3) had a girlfriend that was tall, thin with massive sensitive boobs. She could cum from nipple play alone. She had a neighbor who was about forty/forty five years older than her that has known her since she was a kid and now that she was older he made constant comments about her chest size. I dared her to flash him, “he’s an old man, it’ll be the most action he’s had in years.” Fed up, one day she did. And he moved on her too fast, groping her and sucking on her nipples. This is her weak point so she was overwhelmed, she got wet and couldn’t fight back. Admitting that she was so turned on her gave in and let him play with her chest until he went to finger her and she came to and shoved him off. She was ashamed so she told me, but I was turned on and wanted it to happen again.
4) still with the same girlfriend. Fantasize constantly about her with her neighbor. At first I just want her to have him suck on her chest again. I want her to cum from his old tongue lashing against her nipple. I also start to want her to fuck him. I start to need her to be fucked from someone else. I start bringing it up in small ways but it doesn’t seem to work. She tells me no or slightly plays along but nothing come from it. Eventually I’m slightly more specific in asking her. At most shes willing to consider it.
That leads me to this part.
At this point, I’m still having a healthy and consistent sex life with my ex. She knows my desires to see her be fucked by someone else. She knows at this point i probably do want her to interact with her neighbor again. But we are still having all sorts of sex.
Theres a part of me that loves it. Its still pleasurable. Her ass is cute and firm. Her tits are wonderful to suck on and play with. Her head game is damn near overwhelming. Her pussy is wonderful. And it took a lot of coaxing, a lot of training, but once we got her used to anal she became an anal fiend.
Theres a part of me that hates it though. I developed imposter syndrome like crazy. When she gave me head I pictured other cocks in her mouth instead of mine and wondered what it would take to convince her to suck off at least one other man.
During sex I would literally think “her pussy is too good for me. She deserves a bigger cock. She deserves bbc.” I wondered what I could do to convince her to let me watch her fuck someone else. I read some cuck relationships the cuck would go pussy free and I was at the point that I was willing to give it up to make this happen.
And when it came to her tits, her big perfect tits. I no longer wanted, I needed her neighbor to have his way with them again. I wanted that old man to suck and fondle her tits. Just knowing how she worked I knew if he had a few more minutes she would have came for him. And if she came for him she wouldn’t have had her hands at her sides she would be pulling his head into her chest. She would be begging for more until she came again and again.
I needed it to happen. It went from just him sucking on her tits to me realizing I wanted her to suck his cock. I still “joked,” the idea to her. That helping a man his age get off would be community service. She would ask me about it and I would insist it was a joke but I’d continue to bring it up. I mentioned the tit sucking and the blowjobs but was too embarrassed to even try and bring up fucking her. But I wanted that too. The fantasy grew to me needing him to fuck her.
I had to joke about it because I couldn’t say it directly. She never once asked to clarify if I actually wanted her to let him play with her tits again, or suck him off. If she did ask I dont think I could contain myself. Id have to admit it. She never once questioned if I wanted her to cuck me though. That was obvious. Every few days I’d bring it up during sex. Asking her directly if she would want to at least have a mmf threesome. But I would tell her that mouth was too perfect for me, and she deserved a bigger cock to suck on.
Sometimes Id say “I bet you can handle a much bigger cock just as easy as you take mine. Wouldn’t you be so proud if you made a bigger dick cum just as quick as you make me cum?”
If the dirty talk was getting particularly spicy id be more direct. “Id love to see these lips with another mans cock between them.” I would never mention threesomes at this time. I made sure she knew the goal was to watch her. I struggled to directly ask but I made sure she knew I wanted it.
Her response was never too encouraging. She might listen to me speak for a moment before shutting me down. She might cut me off quicker and let me know she was a one man woman. Every now and again she would let me go on. Tell her what I wanted. She would moan (I was usually playing with her) but she wouldn’t say anything. Mostly she would look troubled.
I could tell she didn’t want it. I was too immature to let it go at the time but she clearly wasnt interested. At the same time I could tell that she knew I wanted her to do it, so she was considering it. It had to have been conflicting. “To prove to the man I love that I love him, I will let other men fuck me.” If i mentioned a threesome it seemed to interest her more. Like at the very least she was happy to pleasure me at the time.
In hindsight I wish I backed off. Given her some peace. I wish I was smart enough to realize how damaging it was for her. I just wasn’t smart enough back then. In fact I didn’t just not relent, I double, triple, quadrupled down on it.
It put a strain on our relationship until she found a way to at least keep our sex life going.
One time, when I was doing my best to convince her, she actually interacted with what I was saying. We were making out and rubbing each other when I said something like “see how you can kiss me and be fingered at the same time? Your good at using both at the same time.” She said “it’s different. Kissing and fingers is easier than two penises.” I said “I finger you all the time while you suck me.” She said “it would be much harder if it was another man fucking me and having you in my mouth.” I thought it was just her usual way of saying no/she couldn’t she cant. At this point I was confident the conversation would end and we would have normal sex. So I said “I know you could take it like a trooper. You could handle it completely.”
And for some reason she said “I don’t know. I might not be able to focus on you both. I would probably just focus on the other man inside of me. I think I could just give you a bad hand job.” I moaned at her saying “other man inside me.”
Needing the conversation to continue I said “id be okay with that too. You know I love your hands.”
She said “but if hes as big as you or bigger, I might not be able to do anything. I would probably just squeeze you and moan into your dick.”
At this point im too horny. Stopped fingering her and she started jerking me off and when i looked in her eyes I knew she was egging me on. She was playing along for me. I had to make sure she knew how into this i was. This was the basics of our back and forth.
Me: “thats okay baby. You can focus on him.
Her: “you would be okay if another man with a big dick fucked me so hard I couldn’t pay attention to you?”
Me: “yes. Baby. I would like that.”
Her: “what if. He pulled out of me and made me lick my wetness off him. Just like you make me do. Would you be okay with that?”
At this point she got down to her knees and started sucking my cock in between sentences. She was talking a lot less but was getting into uncharted territory for us.
Me: “fuck yes baby I would be okay with that”
Her. “Would you? If my mouth was this close to your dick but I was sucking his instead?”
Me: “yes. Id be happy with that.”
Her: “really? Even though I could easily suck yours instead?”
I decided to take a big risk. “Of course baby. I want to watch you suck dick.”
She looked devious. She grabbed my hand and put it on the back of her head and I instinctively started humping her mouth. “What if he puts his hand on my head like you do. And he pumps my mouth like you do. Would you watch?”
Me: “yes. Good girl. I want to watch that baby. I want it now.”
And she knew she had me. “He pumps my mouth just like you do. And I suck his big dick. And I take him in my throat. And he cums in my mouth. And I swallow all of his cum.”
I didnt even have the ability to respond. I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t help it. I came hard and she swallowed all of it. I couldn’t even catch my breath i came so hard. Proud of herself she wiped her mouth and kissed me and then said “Well too bad. It’ll never happen.”
But now she knew her super power. Now she knew a way to nearly satisfy my needs. And she was going to do it often.
It was all I wanted to hear about. All I wanted to do. To have her tease me. To have her tell me dirty things. I didnt want to push it. I didnt want to make her stop. So I did it sparingly. And every time she played along for me.
She didn’t change it up to often, typically kept to the same things with slight twists. Instead of saying “pump my mouth.” She would say “fuck my face.” Instead of gag or moan she would say “choke.” Specifically “he would choke me with his cock.”
Most of the time it was in between breaths during a blowjob, sometimes it was just a hand job. It always ended with her saying “but that won’t happen. You’re the only man for me.” Since this was for my pleasure it almost never resulted in sex, and the few times it did the dirty talk stopped. If she did say anything it would be simple “I could ride him like this for you.” And that would be it.
It was ruling my brain. I loved every moment of it, I craved it. Somehow it was enough to satiate me. Until everything changed for the better/worse. I did my best to never push her further than she was going but she did her best to give me as much as she could.
One time, I was getting her off. I stopped her while she was trying to dirty talk me, and I switched it so I was dirty talking her. She was twitching and reacting to my fingers, but didnt seem to acknowledge anything I was saying. I was loving what I was doing so I kept going. Finally she took over the dirty talking while I kept playing with her. Same things she had been saying but this time with a genuine moan to it that turned me on like crazy. Finally, she decided to try something new.
That’s where ill end part 5. I’ll have the next part out shortly. I imagine there will be two more parts to come total. Both much shorter than this one. Thank you.