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In Part 2, things left off with Millie telling me she had slept with someone after her night out. Millie, my girlfriend at the time and my now wife, had skipped out on our regular Friday time together to go out with friends. She had kissed a guy on a dance floor at a bar, and that obviously led to more.
Like I had mentioned, my face couldn’t turn any redder after she told me she had slept with the guy she had been dancing with at the bar. I was still in a bit of a state of blur. I thanked her for being honest. We were both silent after that, almost waiting for the other to steer the direction of the discussion. She broke the silence, “Are you there?”
“Yes, I’m here. Just gathering myself.” I responded. I didn’t know what else to say to her, but she started to fill the silence.
“Do you want to talk about it? I understand if you don’t. I understand if you hate me.” Her speech was quivering. I could tell she holding back tears. She was barely able to get that out.
“No, I don’t hate you. I just need to think about all this.” I don’t know what I needed to think about. My girlfriend had slept with someone else. What was there to think about?
It was like she had read my mind because she responded, “What do you need to think about?”
I stuttered, “I don’t know exactly.” My heart was racing. “I just need a moment, I think. I’m going to go now.” I hung up before she could say anything else.
And there I was standing in my empty apartment, phone in my hand, heart jumping out of my chest. I decided my run could wait. I needed to lay down.
I went to my bedroom and climbed into bed. I was absolutely emotionally drained despite the phone call with Millie taking only minutes. I tried to nap to reset my mind but I couldn’t fall asleep. My mind was racing, my legs were stirring. I reached under my sheets to rip off my pants. Laying naked has always helped me sleep. After getting naked, my cool sheets felt great. I was starting to relax a little and when I did what I typically do – reach for myself.
I didn’t think I was in the mood to stroke myself. No, it was just habit. When my hand made contact with my cock I twitched and an image flashed across my eyes – Millie moaning, head back and hair a mess. Her long brown hair sticking to her neck, her tits sitting perky on her chest. It’s an image I had seen plenty, but this image was accompanied by a feeling of extreme angst knowing only last night that is how she could have looked when she was with a complete stranger.
I couldn’t get the image out of my head. I needed something else to replace it so I pulled up pictures Millie had sent me before. That helped for a moment, but my mind kept going back to thinking about her with someone else. The strange thing was I had gotten hard and the image of her with someone else wasn’t softening me. No, it’s almost as if the opposite was happening – that I was getting harder. I closed my eyes again, pictured her and started to stroke.