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I’m not even sure why I’m writing this. It just feels like something I need to get off my chest. I’m getting older now and I’ve never had the chance to share this with anyone. Who would I have told? I half hope that no one even reads it. I’ve been with my wife a long time now, but in the beginning, when we were dating, it took me a while to really open to her, especially about my sexual fantasies. To be honest, they were embarrassing.
I remember the first time I shared anything with her. We were in my bedroom, and she was jacking me off. I was getting close, and she asked what I was thinking. At first, I demurred, telling her that I was just thinking about how good she felt. She pushed a little, asking again and telling me to be honest.
So, I told her.
I had a friend at the time, a guy named Chris. He was very tall, very skinny and always incredibly pale, even in the height of summer. He was a great guy, but terrible with women.
I told my wife that I was imagining her jacking Chris off.
She told me that was hot and finished me off. I was really embarrassed, and we didn’t talk about it for a week.
Then, we were back in the same place. She was jacking me off, until suddenly she slowed.
“Would you really want me to jack Chris off?” She asked.
“Yes. So much.” I tried to thrust up into her hand. She pushed back against my hip.
“What if I stopped jacking you off right now? What if I called him and told him to come over right this minute so that I could jack him off? Do you want that?”
I was really horny; all my barriers were down. I just blurted out the truth.
“Yes. I want that so much. Call him. Do it.” Her hand almost stopped. I was sure that she was going to do it. That she was going to call him. That she was going to jack off my friend. It was such an amazing feeling, jealousy and arousal mixed. My brain felt like it was on fire. Her hand moved slightly, and I exploded.
My wife was clearly intrigued by this fantasy of mine, and she asked again later that night.
“Would you really be OK if I called up Chris just to give him a handjob?” She asked. I was quiet and she retreated a bit. “It’s OK if you aren’t. We’re just talking about fantasy here.” But I’d only been quiet because I was trying to decide if I really wanted her to know how far my fantasy went.
“Not exactly.” I hedged. “If we’re just talking fantasy here, what I really want to do is give Chris your number, so that he can call you.”
“What do you mean?” She leaned closer and her hand drifted towards my cock. I could feel that same fire starting to burn in my brain again. Feel my barriers, already low, drop further.
“I want to give Chris your phone number and tell him that he can call you whenever he wants you to service him. I want to tell him he can use you however he wants. I want to know that you will you drop whatever you are doing when he calls and immediately go to satisfy him.”
“Wow.” She bent down. Started to suck my cock. Then looked up. “What about me in this fantasy? Does he satisfy me?
“No. Never.” Every word was a short curt gasp. “You’re just there for him to use.”
“Mmm.” She smiled at me. “I’m such a slut.” She went down on me. Took me as deep as she could. I came deep into her throat.
We talked about it again the next day. More seriously this time.
“This is just fantasy, right?” She asked. “You really don’t want me to service your friend, do you?” I was really quiet. When I wasn’t really horny, I didn’t know how to answer. She waited, staring at me.
“I don’t really know.” I answered finally. “I can’t honestly decide. I want it and I’m terrified of it.”
“What about this.” She suggested. “I’m going to call Chris and tell him everything you said. Then I’m going to tell him that I’ll do it. That I’ll be his sexual servant. That I’ll drop everything and go to him whenever he needs to cum and that I will tell you all the details every time it happens.”
I gulped. My heart was pounding harder that it ever had before. I was terrified I’d have heart attack.
“Or.” She continued. “Or, I’ll just tell you that’s what I’ve done, and you have to decide whether I’m telling you the truth or not. You can never talk to him about it. I might really be with your friend, or I might just be telling you a story to satisfy your fantasy.”
“Oh my god.” I answered. Blood was rushing to my head. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. “I don’t know. I don’t know.” She got on her knees, knelt between my legs, and took out my cock. I was throbbing in her hand. Without a word she took me in her moth. She sucked me slowly. Until I was utterly at her mercy.
“Do it.” I told her. “Call him. Make it happen.” I came in her mouth again. She didn’t even talk to me after. She just got up and left. Leaving me there, terrified and aroused by what I’d just said.
I saw her early the next day. She looked radiant.
“I called him.” She told me. “I called him and told him what you wanted me to do. I gave him my number and told him that he could call me at any second, I would go jack him off.”
“Did you..?” I was hesitant to ask.
“Did I go to him last night? No. He was shocked and didn’t know what to make of it.”
“Did you really do it?” I asked. “Did you really say that to him?”
“I’ll answer your question completely honestly, if you want me to. I’ll answer it at any time.” She said. “But that will be the end of the fantasy. I won’t do anything else after that. Until you get that answer you will just have to chose what you believe. Do you want me to answer honestly right now?”
“No.” I swallowed. I didn’t know what was true and I didn’t know if I wanted to know.
When I saw Chris again, he didn’t say anything. He didn’t flinch, or hesitate, or give any sign that things had changed. I went home convinced that nothing had happened, that my wife hadn’t actually told him those things.
I saw my wife the next day. She seemed radiant, almost glowing. She had a huge grin on her face. We quickly ended up in the bedroom. I went down on her and she went wild. She came against my tongue hard. Just as she did, she whispered, “I did it.”
When she had a chance to recover, she straddled me and jacked me off and talked as she did.
“Chris called me last night. He was so scared. He thought it was a prank or a trick. He almost passed out when I showed up. I kissed him and guided him into the bedroom. He looked terrified, so I took off all my clothes first. I loved standing in front of him completely naked. I think I’m the first woman he’s seen naked before. He just stood there, staring at me. Finally, I pushed him to the bed and took out his cock. Oh honey, I bet you don’t know this, but your nerdy little friend has a huge cock. It’s long and thick. His skin is so pale and his head in almost as red as lipstick. He’s circumcised and his cock is gorgeous. I told him to relax, and I jacked him off slowly. I could tell he’d never felt a woman’s hands before. He was so excited. When he finally came, it was like a fountain. It almost hit my lips when it spurted up. I loved it.”
I was writhing in her hands as she spoke, and I came very quickly. I could picture every moment. I wanted to believe she’d really done it. I asked her if it had really happened. She gave me the same answer as before.
“I’ll tell you the truth. But that will be the end of the fantasy. Do you want to know?”
I didn’t. I didn’t want it to end. I loved it, even if it was just a story. I told her to keep going.
Over the next little while she went to Chris a number of times. Every time she told me in graphic detail what she’d done to my friend. I didn’t know if I believed her. Each time left me raging with jealousy and lust and I wanted more.
One night, at her house, she got a call while we were fooling around and she left me there, aching, to go to him and service him. If she was lying, her commitment only inflamed me more.
She escalated, or told me she did, from handjobs to blowjobs. She would give me blowjobs, but rarely. She would suck him off whenever he demanded it. She said that his cock was huge and would leave her jaws aching. That he would go deep into her throat and make her gag. She said she didn’t love sucking him off, but that my fantasy was for her to pleasure him and to get nothing in return, so she did whatever he asked. She did tell me that she liked the taste of his sperm.
We moved our relationship forward and talked about having sex for the first time. It was a different era. We didn’t move as quickly as people do now. She wanted it to be special. She bought some white lingerie, a matching bustier and frilly panties. She told me that she didn’t want to use any protection for our first time. Afterwards she would go on the pill, but she wanted the first time to be “primal.”
The night came. We were at her place. We had a little wine. We made out and moved to the bed. She stripped down to her lingerie and I could barely contain myself. The panties weren’t what I was expecting. They were red instead of a matching white. I was confused, but didn’t ask questions. I slipped the panties off and ate her a little to get her ready. Then I moved up and positioned myself to enter her for the first time. She put a restraining hand on my chest, stopping me just as my cock touch her lips.
“Last night, Chris fucked me. I told him our plans and he moaned and said that he wished it could be him. You wanted him to use me however he wants. So I wore my lingerie and he pumped me full of his cum. He kept my virginal white panties as a trophy.” She grabbed my hips and pulled me into her, and I lost my mind. I fucked her hard and fast and filled her, not knowing if Chris had really done it first.
Afterwards I was still on fire. I asked her if it was true. She gave me her answer.
“I’ll tell you the truth. But that will be the end of the fantasy. Do you want to know?”
I wanted to know with every fiber of my being. But I didn’t want it to stop. I told her no. She just smiled at me.
After that there were no more stories about handjobs or blowjob. Chris would call her anytime to fuck her. If she was to be believed, he was insatiable. He would call her at least 3 times a week and she would drop whatever she was doing and leave to service him. She left work for him. She left family gatherings for him. She went to him when she was on her period, even on a heavy day when she felt awful. She left me in the middle of sex for him. He fucked her in every position and in anyway that he wanted, whether it was comfortable for her or not. Whether she enjoyed it or not. She never once came for him. She always came home to me for that.
And he never gave any sign that it was happening. No glances at her. Not smirks. Nothing. I hated not knowing the truth. I loved not knowing the truth.
We started talking about trying anal sex. She was nervous, worried that it would hurt or be weird. The shower at my house had a strange little ledge that I’ve never seen before or since. It was right about level with my waist and quite deep, deep enough for her to sit on. We loved having sex there . She could sit right at the edge and put her legs over my shoulders.
We were in that position, she was reclining as far back as she could and I was looking down at her gorgeous body, when she told me,
“Chris took my ass last night.” She was almost whispering. I had to lean close to hear. “I told him that we’d been talking about it. He didn’t even ask. He just turned me over and took me. You wanted him to use me however he wants, so I let him. He went so deep it felt like he was touching the center of my body. It felt like his huge cock was splitting me apart. He pushed me down and fucked my ass until he came, then he left me there to feel his cum seeping out of me.”
I looked down at her. I wanted to know, desperately, whether she’d really let him do it. There was no hint to the truth on her face. She looked me deep in the eyes and whispered.
“He’s gotten everything you wanted and he’s gotten there first.”
I lost control then. I pulled out of her, pushed her legs back until her knee were against her chest. I pushed my cock against her ass, and then pushed, hard, into her. There was no lube. It was hard, and hot and tight. She moaned in pain as I went deep. I pulled out slowly and she whispered his name.
“Chris.” I plunged into her. Hearing his name was like a spike of lust into my mind.
“Chris.” She was louder now. I plunged again and again. Each time she said his name louder and louder. I plunged as deep as I could go, as hard as I could go. She screamed his name.
“CHRIS.”
I lost all semblance of self then. My conscious mind faded away. I fucked her like a wild animal. All control gone. I pounded into her hot tight ass with mindless fury. When I finally exploded in her, the world went black.
We kept this going for a few months afterwards. She told me that he took her ass regularly, even when she denied it to me. But he eventually found a girlfriend and the stories slowly faded away.
We’ve been married for years now and it has been a long time since I though about it. She recently went in for some dental surgery. Nothing complicated but sedated.
As I was driving her home she looked at me with groggy eyes.
“Remember everything I told you about Chris?” She asked. Her speech was slurred.
“Yes.”
“It was all true.”