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Summary of the situation: My wife has been having an affair with a friend for about 2 years now, and ever since I found out, I’ve been reading their chat/sexting, and got off to it. They meet almost every Friday, and some weekdays too, if I’m out. The fake names I gave them are Emily for my wife, and Joe for our friend.
Since my last post got mostly the feedback, that this isn’t healthy, I’ve been having a lot of turmoil. On one hand, I enjoyed reading their sexting, but I was conflicted a lot. Last Friday, while she was out, and I was reading again, I finally decided to confront her. Next morning, everything started as usual, coffee on the couch, but this time the adrenaline had me awake already. She could tell something was going on, and I just told her I know.
I don’t remember how exactly it went, but we discussed how it isn’t okay what she did, and that we have to repair trust. I also told her in advance, that I have no intention of divorcing, and she told me she doesn’t either. When I told her that I enjoyed reading their sexting, her eyebrows have been the highest in surprise I have ever seen. I told her that I don’t mind her having sex with someone else, I mind her not telling me, and this all happening without my consent. And I especially hate that I don’t know what’s going on inside her that led to this.
So she shared her side: my wife has always been a very high-libido person. There is a saying that all guys think they want sex a lot, until they meet a woman who wants to have sex a lot. My wife is exactly like this. I always thought that I live up to her libido, but according to her, after a few years together, there was just nothing new in our bedroom. She loves having sex with me, but it’s not like the adrenaline surge it was before. This is one of the reasons that led to her having an affair. The other (and I share this with her consent), is that she can’t have children, and ever since our marriage, she feels like there is no next step, and this frustrates her a lot. She said at least the affair had her look forward to something, have some intrigue, and divert her attention away from this feeling.
We talked all day, she apologised to me a lot, and reassured me, that her affair was only about sex, nothing more. I know her well enough to believe her on this, so we set the boundaries on how to move forward. From now on, she always tells me when she’s meeting him, and what happened on their meetups. Since she doesn’t appreciate me reading her chats, and because it will not help repair the trust in our relationship, I won’t do that again. But since I enjoy reading them, we came up with the idea, that she tells him I might suspect something, and she noticed me looking into her phone over her shoulder, so they shift their sexting to another medium, like discord. I have access to that too, and can read it without accessing her chat with her friends and family.
We also planned on improving our relationship, more dates, etc., but that’s personal, and doesn’t really belong here. And I gotta mention, we had the wildest sex we’ve had in years after this whole discussion. Dirty talk was crazy. I’m looking forward to how this will go, I guess I have a cuckold relationship from now on. I don’t know if I’ll post any more updates, but after my last post got so many comments urging me to confront her, I thought I should update with how it went. Thanks for the lot of support everybody!