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Conservative Christian Gf who is in the choir at church on Sundays. This is a shared account, so she can read comments too. So it all started when she cheated on me. We have been dating for 3 years. She cheated on me and instead of getting mad or upset, which part of me was, there was also a part of me that was turned on. When I found out, I asked her how it was, how big he was. How many times. Where at. And I was getting aroused. She admitted she has a certain.. type. She said she has an obsession.
Just recently they have allowed me to start watching. I don’t usually participate but I do get to watch and they allow me to do some camera work.
Why do I enjoy it so much? What part of me wants to see my GF torn apart and taken like a sex doll? We still do have sex some. But I’d almost rather watch her, or talk to other men about her and get off that way, without her.
I was cheated on by my previous GF too. So I’ve had a history of being cheated on. It’s like it arouses me sexually, even tho it hurts emotionally.
I also like to share her photos, that she agreed to also, with other men, especially.. her type.. and old men.
They haven’t let me try yet, but I would kinda like to blow the bull. I’ve never sucked a dick before. And I’m too ashamed to ask if I can, I wish they would make me do it. I’m an anal virgin too, but it would be hot to have me and my girl both bent over and holding hands while the bull took turns on us.
Also, while they are having sex, I love apologizing over and over and telling them I’m sorry for being a loser, they call me names, laugh, point at me, when the bull is finishing I love to yell thank you daddyyyy to him.
Why am I so pathetic?