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I (27M) have been married to my wife (23F) for just over a year. This isn’t the first time she’s brought up this idea of cucking my friend (26M) The first time she mentioned it was during a spicy night between us, and the most recent time she brought it up was casually while we were making dinner. She’s now telling me to seriously ask him.
I’m confused about her motivations and how the logistics would even work. I’m trying to understand if this is just a very specific kink for her or if there’s something deeper going on. I’m not turned off by the idea, she’s always been more sexually adventurous than me, and has seen more action than I could dream, but I do feel a bit intimidated and also just a tad confused at the whole concept.. I keep wondering why she wants him in the bedroom, and why she has brought up in this way. Is it to spare my feelings?
I met him in in college and I have known him for over five years. He’s a mutual friend of ours, but he and my wife aren’t particularly close. The only real connection is that a few years ago he had a situationship with her friend/roommate at the time. He currently has a “girlfriend” (also more of a situationship). He’s relatively normal, a bit of a lunkhead strong, but more powerlifter and less bodybuilder physique, not the sharpest but as far as I’ve known him hes a good guy. I know he finds her attractive but from my view hes never made an advancement or any push for her to get with him.
She’s also never brought up a threesome with him before.
We went on a date a few days ago and this happened to maybe add so more clarification? For our date we went to a nice, but rather crowded Italian restaurant. The only thing of note was a brief joke my wife made, with a breadstick layed in the palms of her hands she smiled to me and said “I wonder if this is how big [his name] is? and she giggled, as I almost spit out my drink and fumbled on my words.
She then said to me “remind me how big you are?” Where I laughed and tried avoiding answering saying something along the lines of: “oh youre so crazy” she noticed though and said “sooo?”
then proceeded to say it, she pursued with “what couldn’t hear you?” and I said it again a bit louder and I believe drew attention of the couple next to us as they glanced over and giggled. This had her smiling ear to ear before telling me I was such a good listener.
(Not sure if this helps, my case of hurts it)
Info about our sex life; Best described as tame or vanilla. She gets more out of telling, what she used to do, take, and experience. I’ve brought up the idea of trying some of the things she has mentioned before but she takes a pretty firm stance on me being myself and that wouldn’t feel right if I did those things.
Last night I tried to coerce more from her after our date, but a massage and foot rub only lead to a goodnight kiss, so if I can find out more I will try and then update this post.
But that leads me to this,
I have no idea how (or even if) I should bring this up to my friend. Any advice on how to handle this?
Extra details/Maybe helpful insight?; She does have a kink/turn on of mentioning other guys in the bedroom to get her in the mood. Whether or not it is Ex boyfriends, fwbs, or even crushes of hers. We have mentioned the ideas of 3somes before but we have never gone through with them or even gotten to the point of really setting them up.
Also not sure if this is the correct sub for this but seemed to fit. Thanks