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I’m honestly not sure what started it all.
I did used to get weirdly turned on by really pretty white girls dating black dudes back in school. Then I guess the porn – through girlfriends and even through marriage.
I denied myself from imagining my own gf/wife being the subject of the porn ive been watching for a long time, but once i started, a dam broke loose.
So a few months back i confessed to my wife. She was more ticked off than anything – outright disgusted. I was ashamed and couldn’t bring it up again myself.
But then she noticed. She noticed that my mind was elsewhere during sex and asked if I was imagining her with a bbc. I couldn’t say anything.
I remember the angry way in which she jumped off me and ran off. Honestly, i thought i might have ended our marriage.
We spent a few days apart, so i really did think it was the end, and I was honestly just feeling humiliated and exposed.
Then, suddenly, she talked to me for the first time in days, just starting it off with a “I’ll do it”. It was missing a lot of context, but i still understood immediately. My wife had a laptop prepared, showing me a conversation she’s been having with a bbc male escort she found online. My face got flushed and my cock rose straight up. My wife noticed and looked disgusted.
She explained that if we did it through a professional it’d be easy, clean, no strings attached. “Stop this now before it’s too late” she said, but I just stayed silent.
She walked away angrily again, and the days after that are a bit of a blur. My wife is usually a timid and kind lady. But since finding out, she really took charge. She was organising everything and notified me of the date.
So i just… rode it out until the day came. A part of me didnt believe it would happen. Like it was a dream. Even as the escort came into our house, embraced my wife, I just felt like it was all a dream.
I think i really only woke up as he made his way into her and hammering her at full speed.
The roaring moans from my wife were just a shock to my system. I didn’t think she was a size queen, and she never really did any dirty talk. But there with the escort’s big black cock, she kept shouting “it’s so big, it’s so big!”
It no longer felt like porn, and just more like I was losing my wife in front of me.
I was hard as a rock but was afraid to touch myself cuz i thought if I came, i might actually want to kill myself.
I would have wanted to take pics and vids too, but I just forgot. It was that mesmerising.
All the while, my wife was clearly trying her hardest not to look at me. The little glances i got here and there were full of pity. I felt disgusting but also ready to explode with arousal.
She even seemed to let go more and more, kissing the man with affection like only lovers do.
Eventually he came, all over her face, quickly showering and leaving after.
I cautiously approached her as she laid spread eagle on the bed, another man’s cum all over her, and we embraced. We talked about the experienced and just tried to make sense of it all.
To my surprise, my wife said she won’t do it again because though she admitted it was the best sex of her life, she found it all just too scary. She was uncomfortable elaborating on what she meant by that, but promised to explain when the feelings died down some.
I, on the other hand, can’t stop thinking about my wife’s face, the depravity of a woman usually so collected and proper. The contrast of her pale skin against his pitch black. Her pussy gripping for dear life against the massive girl of the big black cock.
My hands shake every time i think about it, and I dont know how to move on from it.
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