he watched me get destroyed and now he flinches when i touch him [gf]

i told him i’d go easy. just some light teasing, maybe a little grinding, nothing he couldn’t handle. he said he wanted to be there when i did it — to “feel part of it,” whatever the fuck that means. i said okay, but i warned him not to fall apart. he said he was fine. he wasn’t. we started on the couch, all three of us. me in the middle, wearing nothing but a sheer black robe and a smug little smile. my man had that fake-calm look on his face. stiff posture, tight jaw, like he was trying to act unbothered. the other guy — let’s just call him A — had already unzipped his jeans by the time i kissed him. didn’t even hesitate. pulled out his cock, thick and already leaking, and i went down on it like i hadn’t eaten in days. my boyfriend’s breath caught. i heard it. i looked over while i sucked A off, made eye contact, and held it while i swallowed him whole. his lips parted but no words came out. then i straddled A. panties to the side. slid down so slow, moaning like i was alone. didn’t even glance at my boyfriend. just rode that cock like i’d been starving for it, like i needed to get split open to feel anything at all. i loved the way his hands clenched into fists. he didn’t know what to do. kept looking at my face, at my tits bouncing, at the other guy’s hands gripping my hips. i think he was waiting for me to stop. for me to look at him like i regretted it. i didn’t. i came. loud. messy. nails digging into A’s chest while my body shook. didn’t fake it. didn’t hide it. just lost it on top of another man while my boyfriend sat frozen, watching. and when i finally looked back at him? i laughed. he looked wrecked. like someone had reached inside him and flipped all the wrong switches. i climbed off, pussy dripping, legs shaky. kissed A on the cheek and whispered thanks. then turned to my boyfriend, cupped his face, and said, “you wanted this, remember?” he nodded. didn’t speak. wouldn’t meet my eyes. so i made him lick me clean. he trembled the whole time. tongue flicking my clit while A sat back on the couch and watched. when i came again, i pulled his hair and made him listen to the sounds i made for someone else. his hands were shaking. afterward, he curled up on the floor beside the bed while i slept. and now? he barely touches me. gets hard when i tease him but won’t make eye contact. flinches when i mention A’s name. sometimes i catch him jerking off in the bathroom after i ignore him all day. like he knows he’s not allowed to touch me without permission now. i started locking the bedroom door. not because i need privacy. just because i want him to hear the sounds through the wall and wonder if someone’s in there with me again. sometimes i fake moans just to fuck with him. he asked me once, in the quietest voice, if we were still together. i laughed. told him, “depends what you mean by together.” i haven’t kissed him since. but i have had him on his knees more in the last two weeks than our entire relationship before that. and not for pleasure. i’ve used his mouth. used his tongue. told him to edge while i sexted other men. made him describe how it felt when he watched me get fucked. asked if his heart broke or if his dick twitched harder. he didn’t answer. but his cock was leaking. he’s obsessed. ruined. hollowed out and rewired. and i’m planning another night soon. only this time? A’s bringing a friend.