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I’ve been married to my husband for 12 years now. Our sex life was never amazing or anything but early in our relationship we at least had sex once a week. Over time it dwindled less and less and over the last 5 years me and my husband have determined he’s A-sexual. It’s been difficult because I myself am a very sexual person.
I have expressed my needs to my husband 1000X and it never gets any better. Even with that I would never want to be with anyone else on an emotional level in my life. I love my husband more than anything but this has definitely created many negative conversations and bickering with each other. About a month ago during a little fight we were having my husband had said maybe I should just find someone else to sleep with if that’s what I needed. I was taken aback and upset that I had expressed to him so many times what I wanted and begged him for it only for him to tell me find someone else!
I went to work the next day and my friend at work who has always made his intent to hook up known was talking with me and something in my head was like “F it I should just get my sex elsewhere”. I nervously asked him if he wanted a drink after work and he jumped on the chance.
Next thing I knew I was back at his place that night and we had sex. It was not just sex but it was the best sex of my life. He knew what he was doing in every way and it was mind blowing. He was so dominant he just took me however he wanted. At the end he didn’t even ask as he shot his cum deep inside me. I felt immediate guilt and regret but the sex was so good I felt conflicted.
The only thing sexually that my husband really responds to in the bedroom is if I’m a little demeaning, aggressive, talking down to him, and making him lick/suck toes and things like that but I am a girl who likes to be submissive so I don’t play that way a lot with him. I don’t know if I just felt like I needed to give him something or what but when he got home from work I stripped in nothing but my panties and sat at the edge of the bed telling him to get on his knees in front of me.
I put one foot on top of his head to stabilize it and took my other foot and started to put my toes in his mouth while he kneeled beneath me. I grabbed my phone and started scrolling instagram telling him this was the level of attention he would get from me sexually now to match his own. Me scrolling my phone while he licked my feet. While staring at my phone like I couldn’t care less about what I was doing with him I started rocking his head back and forth onto my toes like I was fucking his mouth with my feet. I could hear a muffled moan from my husband with my foot in his mouth and it turned me on so much.
Fast forward to today, I have been fucking my coworker about 3 times a week, it’s been strictly sexual nothing emotional whatsoever it’s just me getting my needs met. I’ve been coming home and interacting with my husband in a much more dominate way and he’s been loving it. Everything is great but it’s all based on the lie my husband doesn’t know I’m fucking someone else. I’m thinking about telling him but I’m also worried about losing all of this! I know I’ll probably get some hateful comments but I’m curious if anyone understands. I exhausted all options with my husband and I had/have ZERO desire to live life without him.
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