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That’s all that I’m left with as I sit here alone in our empty home. The scent of her perfume lingers in the air from when she kissed me before going out the door.
I replied to her text message telling me ” I’m here. This place is fucking fancy!” She read it but did not reply.
Why did I instigate this? I encouraged her to go out on dates with this guy. And when they started to talk about overnight out of state trips together I was outwardly agreeable, but inwardly my guts were roiling. It was when the talk turned to destinations and dates that I became acquainted with a word I’d seldom heard, uttered or experienced. Angst.
This week the thoughts of them alone together created so much Angst in me I had to sit down with her and ask her that if she was going to go on overnights with him I needed her to please get started sooner rather then later because the anxiety was to much to bear.
“You mean like ripping off a bandaid? she replied. After a few text messages, just like that, it was all arranged.
She packed her bikini for the hot tub, fishnets, a super hot cami, and no panties for later. I know this guy’s got a thing for her, so he’s going to be working her over to impress. On the couch, in the hot tub, the bed oc, probably the shower too and with a dick 20 years younger and more than twice my puny size.
I’m pacing the floor. My heart is pounding and I’m lightheaded.
Who in there right mind would send their beautiful, young, sexy, oversexed gf out for the night knowing that she’s going to get railed by a guy who so greatly outperforms him in the bedroom?
And so thus it begins…
Oh, WTF is wrong with me?
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