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The guy she dated before me has always had his hooks in her. For 15 years he’s floated in and out of our life. It’s to the point that I can infer how his relationships are going based on how much texting and sneaking around my wife is doing.
She is his plan B and I think she must know it at this point, she just doesn’t care. When no one else is texting back he thinks, “hey I’ll text my old ex. She’s married but she’ll always come over and spread her legs for me…”. She won’t hear from him for months, and then one night he’ll be back sending messages.
She said the sex is good. He’s big and can last a long time. But that alone doesn’t explain why she’s so determined to see him.
She’s not like this for any other guy. She’s pretty reserved, dresses conservatively. For some inexplicable reason this one guy has figured out how to make her into a sex toy. I think there’s some problems there that need therapy. Their past relationship was very dysfunctional with him cheating on her, and lots of gaslighting and manipulating. By all accounts, she shouldn’t want to ever see him again yet she simply can’t tell him no.
No marriage is perfect. I just figured this was our problem. After multiple times catching her and endless conversations about why she won’t stop, she finally admitted that she can’t stop. “Theres something about him, it feels like I’m in a trance when he asks.” I told her she doesn’t have to hide it anymore because it’s clearly not going to end.

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