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This happened two weeks ago and I’m still processing it.
I’m 19, Singaporean, my boyfriend (26) is way more experienced than me. He’s been into cuckold porn since before we met. I agreed to try it for real, but I wanted it to be anonymous—no one we knew, no emotional connection, just the physical act. He found a guy on a forum. Verified him, got his STD test results, the whole process. The guy was 35, expat, leaving Singapore in a month which meant no ongoing complication. Perfect, supposedly.
My boyfriend booked a hotel room at one of those business hotels in the CBD nothing fancy, just functional. He wanted to watch but I said no, not the first time. He settled for waiting in the lobby, getting text updates. I went up to the room first. The guy knocked 10 minutes later. Tall, white, looked exactly like his photos. We didn’t talk much. He asked if I was sure, I said yes, and we started. He was rough in a way my boyfriend never is. Pinned my wrists, called me a good girl, made me look at him while he fucked me. I came twice which never happens with my boyfriend. He finished inside me IUD, no condom, we had verified everything beforehand.
He left right after. Showered, dressed, gone in 30 minutes total. I never got his name. Just “Mike” which was probably fake. I texted my boyfriend to come up. He was hard before he even got in the door. Fucked me immediately, reclaiming me, asking me over and over how it felt, if he was bigger, if I wanted to see him again. I said I didn’t know. I still don’t. The sex was incredible but the anonymity feels weird now. Like I let a ghost touch me. My boyfriend wants to arrange another one. I haven’t said yes yet.
Is this normal? To feel empty after but also want to do it again?
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