Regret not getting cucked by my ex girlfriend [mf] [cuck]

I don't think I'll ever be cucked by my wife and I think thats probably for the best really, less risk in losing her etc but I'm filled with regret at not pushing for my ex to cuck me. It was very close to it, our sex was more mutual masturbation, her using a vibe and me jerking off while sucking her tits. We did this for a long time, as I just didn't last when I was inside her. Near when we split up, we both agreed that it would be better for her if she was getting fucked by others. That our sex life just wasn't great for either of us.

When we actually split up, she would still come over to see me the same night she'd been fucked by other guys, one time I was even lying on lap after she'd had a guy in her that night. I remember vividly her telling me that she was getting fucked properly, doggy, creampied and was cumming hard from it. Followed by me telling her that I was getting more confidence and actually lasting in bed just due to experience of using my cock more in a woman and also working out a bit. It was like the opposite of my wanking off next to her and cumming on her stomach. She also would tell me that she was meeting guys in nice cars etc, which I didn't have. There was something so caring yet humilating about lying my head next her fucked pussy, even though she was fully clothed and had jeans on. I regret not pushing a little bit more as I think she'd have been happy to fufill those fantasies. I honestly think I was so close to being told to lick her used pussy.