I’m [M39] addicted to knowing she [F37] gets fucked by other men [true]

I have an ex who I stayed with for a long time. We broke up. At first, it was hard, but we never really let go. We kept talking, seeing each other, sometimes even fucking. The connection was too strong. Then she started telling me about the guys she was with. At first, just to tease me, to see how I’d react. But instead of making me jealous, it turned me on. I wanted more.

I started asking questions. More and more specific. At first, she thought it was weird. Now, she plays with it. She texts me after every hookup, knowing exactly what it does to me.

"You wanna know?"

Of course, I do. I want every detail. Who fucked her, how, if he made her scream.

"He pinned me against the wall and fucked me like a slut. I arched my back, dripping, begging for more."
"He came in my mouth, it was hot, thick… I swallowed every drop. Can you picture it?"
"My legs are still shaking, my thighs are sore. You would’ve loved watching it."

I read her messages, and I get rock hard. She knows. She knows it drives me insane, more than actually having her.
But it’s not even her that I crave anymore. It’s the feeling. Knowing she belongs to them, that they use her like a filthy whore while I sit there, waiting for her to tell me every detail.

And her? She loves driving me crazy.