Never read your wife’s old diary unless you can deal with the ghosts of the past.

I will start by saying until these events happened i had never thought about being a cuckold and the idea never even crossed my mind. I didn't mean to invade her privacy and I probably got what I deserve for the betrayal of that trust.

My wife Jen and I have been married for 9 years. We had a daughter together while we were still in high school and Jen's body bounced back like you would expect a cheerleader and 18 year old to do. She still looks fantastic today 5 foot 10 and 130 pounds with blonde hair and the most beautiful blue eyes that fade to a greenish hue when she is sad. After school I went to a 2 year trade program and worked nights stocking shelves at Wal-Mart while she stayed at home with our daughter. When I finished and got a good job working in a coal mine she headed to college 3 hours away. It was great she was going into nursing and we would be set when she was done. The loss of our ability to live wild and crazy lives was a source of depression for her but she saw a counselor and after only a few months at school she was happier than I had ever seen her.

Fast forward 6 years and we are moving into our first house together in a town 30 miles from where we grew up. I had taken a few loads of old stuff from my parents house while Jen had gone to her mothers house to sort through things. She text me and said they would be staying at her moms because she had torn everything out of the storage shed and she wanted to get it picked up before she left. I made then what would turn out to be the first in a line of life altering decisions. I decided to unpack the boxes in the garage and put stuff away.

At first it was going amazing I felt like I was really accomplishing a lot but I got side tracked when I opened a large rubber tote and inside was a bunch of college papers and books and binders along with a stack of note pads. One of which simplest said journal. I figures it was some class project that she had done so I opened it up and soon found out it was not a class assignment it was my wife's journal to help her deal with her emotional health. She talked often in the first weeks about wanting to experience more in life and then about 4 weeks in there was a small entry about a cool guy named Jason. Nothing to intriguing but just a mention of meeting him in the computer lab for math.

Jason started to make daily appearances on week 5 and by week 6 I was reading about how she felt guilty when Jason but his hand on her leg but she didn't want to stop him. I was mad I can't lie. I felt betrayed and cheated and embarrassed but I also was interested in this couple that was forming on the pages in front of me. I should have stopped I knew where it was going but I didn't. On week 7 Jason invited her to a party. She told me we couldn't have our nightly talk because she was swamped in school. She met him at the party and she had a few drinks before leaving with him back to the apartment I was paying for and then he layer my wife on the bed and she let him take her clothes off. She didn't go into much detail other than to say that he was the biggest guy she had ever seen and that it was the "good" sore the next day.

I sat the diary down and went in the bathroom I needed air or I needed to puke I didn't know which one. I took 30 minutes to calm down and read on. Over the next 2 weeks every free minute they had was spent having the "best sex of her life" multiple times a day he would stop in rail my beautiful wife and leave and she happily let him. She wrote how she had to do her wifely duty when I visited. I was so embarrassed but I was also hard as a rock when I read about how he pushed her face down in the couch and gave it to her from behind for hours.

Eventually he stopped talking to her around week ten. She was distraught and I wish I could say she came home to me for comfort. She instead started going out with her college friends to bars and hooking up with random men one who was in his late 40's Marcus. He was the one that really changed things for her. He treated her well took her to fancy dinners and then came to her house and basically dominated every aspect of her sexual pleasure. She wore collars for him and had threesomes and foursomes with his friends she was his every night except the 0ne night every two weeks she was mine.

I never knew anything about any of it until I found this journal. After I read it I was ashamed and embarrassed and erect I tucked it back in the tote and then stacked the rest of the totes on top of it. I never said a word about it but about 2 months ago I found that tote again and when I opened it up and the note book was gone. I am convinced she is still seeing her older man because she has made a few trips back to her college town and when she does I can never reach her.

Thank you if you read this whole thing I hope it made sense it feels good to get my real truth out there and I hope she doesn't read this because I don't know if I am ready for the reality of that.