By my own bidding [Fictional][Cuckold’s perspective]

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It started with a knock in the engine. 

Text here. Visuals inside.
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Not a metaphor; just a real, irritating sound from the front of my company car, some ill-timed clunking that would’ve been trivial, if not for how much time I’d been spending in that car lately. Driving aimlessly. Escaping from a house that used to feel like mine. 

Mirela was still the same woman I married: smart, stunning in that effortless way, with her warm Polish laugh and a brain built for logic and irony, successful in her teaching career and all – but something had shifted between us. We still shared routines, still touched, still kissed… but in bed? Cold sheets. Safe sex. A mechanical rhythm where heat once lived. 

I still loved her. God, I did. But I wanted more. Needed more. And every time I hinted at fantasies, be it light bondage, toys, really anything, she recoiled. Non-monogamy? That word alone was nuclear. Mirela’s morals were fixed like her lesson plans: neat, uncompromising, not up for revision. 

So the knock in the engine, annoying as it was, brought me to Steve. 

Steve ran a garage on the edge of town, the kind of place with muscle car calendars and black coffee no one drank. He was older. Fifty-something, barrel-chested, silver at the temples but all confidence and sweat and that smug, effortless masculinity you can’t fake. His handshake was a grip. His eyes, calculating. Not unkind, but definitely the kind that had seen too much to be impressed by men like me. 

He popped the hood, leaned in, and whistled. “She’s going to take a while.” 

I handed him the key. “No rush.” 

He chuckled, rummaging in the middle console to check the manual – and froze.  

“What’s this?” He held up a glossy photo, a print I didn’t remember I had stowed away in the console many months earlier. Mirela in her favorite black blouse, taken on some trip, sun hitting her just right. Her eyes playful. Cleavage low. 

“Oh, just my wife,” I said too quickly. 

Steve smirked, longer than polite. “Lucky man. Bet she doesn’t even know you carry this around.” 

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. My stomach dropped. He slid the photo back like it was precious cargo, and I felt seen in a way that was both terrifying and… something else. 

“I’ll let you know when it’s done,” he said, wiping his hands. I should’ve left. I didn’t. 

That night, I sat alone in the kitchen while Mirela graded papers upstairs. I thought about Steve. About the way his fingers lingered on the photo. About the smirk that wasn’t mocking, just… knowing. That’s when the thought hit me. A sickness and a thrill tangled together. 

What if that’s what I needed? 

What if seeing her through someone else's eyes, someone like him, could make me feel again? 

It started simply: a test. One night while Mirela was changing upstairs, I pretended to check something on my phone. Instead, I snapped a photo, just a glimpse. She stood in her bra, facing the mirror, adjusting a strap. Nothing too pornographic. But intimate. Unaware. I printed it at work. Glossy. Personal. 

Then I dimmed the light in the glovebox of my company car, just enough that someone curious would have to adjust it. I placed the photo right on top, framed like a secret invitation. Then I booked the next appointment at Steve’s garage. 

He didn’t say anything at first. But when I picked the car up, he handed me the keys with a heavy pause. “Left you a note on the steering wheel. Small fix you might not notice.” 

My heart hammered. I drove half a block before checking. The note was handwritten. One line. “Nice view. You should show her off more.” 

That night, I jacked off furiously in the shower. The image of Steve holding that photo burned in my mind. I didn’t fantasize about him with her, not yet, but about her being seen, wanted, by someone other than me. It was fucked up. And it was perfect

The next time Steve called, his tone was different. “We missed the oil change last time. Free for new customers. Want to bring her by again?” 

I did. This time, I lingered. He offered coffee. I took it. Then, direct as ever, he asked: “You ever wonder what it’d be like, letting her loose a bit?” I didn’t answer. 

He leaned in. “Look, I’m not pushing. But if it turns you on, you’ve got to admit: she’s got that hidden fire. I can see it. Hell, I felt it through that picture.” I couldn’t look him in the eye. I just nodded and we talked a bit more. 

That night, Mirela tried to have sex with me. She was soft, welcoming… but I couldn’t finish. My cock stayed half-hard most of time. Somehow, I faked it, tensing my legs sporadically to direct blood away from my groin – as instructed by him. She didn’t notice. The guilt didn’t stop me from masturbating later to the idea of her with Steve. 

“You want this to really work,” Steve told me earlier, “you need to need it. Don’t fuck her. You don’t cum unless you masturbate and it’s to us.” I resisted. At first. But the more I denied myself, the sharper my fantasies became. I began jerking off multiple times a day, but only to the thought of her slowly being seduced. Only to his hands on her. 

Then that one day, I really went all out and pampered Mirela. Hair salon. Nails. New dresses. Lingerie that felt more like armor she didn’t know she was putting on. I praised her constantly. She blushed, laughed, called me “sweet.” She was glowing. She didn’t know I was following instructions. 

Steve would text me what to say, when to suggest a certain dress, which perfume to buy. I became a puppet, and an eager one. Then came the boat invite. 

We were at dinner, lake view, wine. Steve texted: “Weather’s perfect. Tell her we’re heading out on the boat later. Make it spontaneous.” 

I read it aloud. Mirela lit up. “Sounds lovely! Your friend is really quite charming.” 

That was the night before everything changed. 

Steve’s boat wasn’t small. Comfortable, clean, with a below deck cabin and a well-stocked bar. The lake was still. Sunset bled into stars. Steve poured wine generously. He flirted openly. “You’re far too stunning to be locked away in a classroom.” 

Mirela laughed, cheeks red. “And you’re far too flattering for a mechanic.” 

The drinks flowed. So did the compliments. Slowly, inevitably, he sat closer. Then came the story. He spun a ridiculous tale: a fairytale about a “kiss of luck,” about how sailors believed one kiss under starlight brought good fortune. He told it with enough mischief that Mirela played along. “Fine,” she giggled, “one kiss. For the boat’s luck.” 

Their lips touched. Quick. I felt like I’d been hit. She looked at me. I smiled. Steve didn’t stop. He kissed her again, deeper this time. Mirela pulled back. “That’s… probably enough.” 

He looked at me, then her. “Unless he minds.” 

They both stared at me. I swallowed. “Go on.” 

From that moment, I wasn’t her husband. I was the watcher. She didn’t stop him when his hand brushed her thigh. She gasped when he cupped her breast through her dress. Her legs opened. They kissed, groaned, fell into each other like they'd done it before.  

I sat there, throbbing, useless, exposed. 

Steve undressed her slowly. Her nipples were hard, her breath shallow. She whimpered when his fingers slid between her legs. Then he looked at me. “Watch.” 

He bent her over the padded bench. She looked back just once, then faced forward as he pulled her panties aside and slid into her. She cried out. My stomach flipped. His thrusts were deep, primal. She moaned, begged, twisted beneath him. I had never seen her like this. I had never made her like this. 

I was fully hard but when I touched myself, I came immediately, uselessly. It dribbled down my hand, pathetic. My orgasm left me empty, weak. I had nothing. He had everything. 

She came, shuddering. Twice. 

She showered below deck. Steve cleaned up, calm as ever. I stood, dazed, pants barely zipped. Steve patted my shoulder. “You did good.” The boat drifted back to shore. She kissed him goodbye. Lightly. But deliberately.  

She didn’t speak much on the drive home, just smiled and hummed quietly, lost in her own thoughts. When we got to bed, she curled into me like a satisfied cat. I didn’t sleep. My mind was too loud. Not with jealousy. Not with rage. With hunger. 

The next morning, I tried to talk to her. But she was glowing. Happy. And Steve had already texted: “She needs to want more. Don’t ruin it by being needy. Be useful.” 

So I stayed quiet. I made her coffee. I rubbed her feet. I let her go through the day without questions. That evening, Steve sent me a voice message. “You see it now, don’t you? You never really lost her. You just never let her be.” 

He was right. This wasn’t betrayal. It was release. 

From then on, I obeyed. No orgasms. No arguments. Only arousal, service, surrender. I was no longer the man in charge. I was the one who made sure she wanted him. Because when she came home radiant, damp, fucked-out and soft-eyed… that’s when I truly felt closest to her. 

By my own bidding. 

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