Ok, well, I did ask her to be 100% honest.

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Me:
I think you should put into words how you feel about me or how you see me and how your see your bulls. What you expect of me. The place you see me in this LS that you're clearly taking the lead.

Text here. Visuals inside.
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Dont worry about my feelings. Do not try not to hurt me. Just be honest with your desires and feelings.

We can work through anything and that's what I think makes our relationship so strong

Her:
I love giving J. things I don’t give you. It’s a huge turn on for me. It’s definitely a power thing. Denying you turns me on. I’m going to say anal. Even tho I gave it to you years ago, I didn't enjoy it like I do today with him. I don't remember allowing you to even move ounce you were inside of me and it only happened a few times. It was completely different than the way I let J. fuck my ass. Today I consider him the owner of my ass. Other bulls want to try it, and yes I let A. do it once, but honestly that time doesn’t even cross my mind and I almost forgot about it, J. Is truly in control of my ass as he sees fit and the way he uses it, me. I long for more!

To begin to answer some of your questions as to how I see you vs my bulls. I see you as a cuck. You have turned into a cuck since we started our journey. You started out as a stag but have definitely developed quite a few cuck tendencies.

I want to deny you things I only give or try with them. I want to be an extreme slut for them. Doing things like anal with them makes me feel very vulnerable and I love that. I trust that they will take the honor of fucking me in a manner that I don’t let you as a very high privilege as my bull. I expect them to perform and make me quiver!

I want to long for them. I want you to realize you will never be able to please me the same way, which is why you sacrifice your physical pleasures with me and allow me to be with a them over you.

I want you to beg me to give you a hand job, to let you fuck me. It shows me how submissive you’ll be for me. I want to set certain days that you are allowed to fuck me and the other days I deny you that pleasure. I only allow you to fuck me the way I want. It's my pussy!

I want to feel like I have complete control of you and your little dick. I do consider your dick average and never on their level. In my mind you have a dick, not a cock. A cock is big, yours is average at best. This is why even the younger bulls like M. are allowed to tell you they want you to send me to them. You should want to send me to them to get fucked and used until I can’t walk anymore. I'll call you after to tell you how satisfied I am from hours of me submitting to their cock and dominance. I can't see you as dominate.

I want to call the shots as to when you are invited and when you are not. And when you join us I want you to sit quietly, watch and enjoy the experience like a fly on the wall until you are spoken to or asked to.

I know you want to be up close so you can kiss me, taste their cock or cum on my lips or take in our scent. I should be the one to invite you over. UNLESS my bull takes charge and does it first. But, for me, he runs the show when I'm with him, he gets what he wants or doesn’t want. This is what you have created or allowed me to do. You told me to be honest!

I’ll play the good wife and have conversations with my bull to see if he's interested in a situation that would include you, if I feel that bull seems like a dominant bull who can treat you like the cuck you are. Some bulls can handle this task, but others would fail and even go soft at the thought of my husband being that close. I’m ok with this with this depending on their kinks. I'm sure there will be others I could encourage to embrace the act of taking charge and owning both you and I. But, I think that bull is hard to find. I know at some point we will find him. Question is, will you be ready for him.

My response:
That made me hard. Thank You

I think I'd like to share it on my Reddit if you're ok with it.

Her response:
I would love it if you shared it.

That all just came out when I started writing it. It felt good! It was hard being 100% honest, but thank you for letting me be honest with you and myself.

I didn’t mean to take so long to answer you. I just needed to dig deep to put it into words for you. Would love to talk later about it if you need to.