Can’t stop jerking off to my ex [cuckold perspective]

My ex GF made me a cuck by fucking strangers from Reddit and shortly after we started that dynamic our relationship ended. I live in a different state now but here’s the thing though, I can’t stop jerking off to her. She posts content on various porn subs occasionally and I watch it all the time, almost daily. I still go through our messages of her telling me about the big dicks she was fucking, I still fantasize about digging her dirty panties out of the laundry hamper and stuffing them in my mouth while I jerk off. I still imagine her coming home from girls night with a friend and they are both full of cum that they make me eat out of their holes. I dream about laying under her while she serves her bulls. I think all the time about being forced to sit in a corner and watch a gang of BBCs resize her. I literally can’t make myself cum unless I’m thinking about her bouncing on a big fat black cock.. This is ow literally like the tenth time this has happened but I was watching a video of her getting fucked today at work and I came in my pants. I wish I could tell her that she made me cum in my boxers without even touching myself just watching her take two fat cocks just like she deserves. I wonder all the time, almost every night if she is getting creampied in our old bed. I wish I could text her and tell her I'm sitting at work AGAIN with cum in my boxers just from watching her get fucked on my phone. I feel humiliated every time but I can't stop watching.