Emma pulled her car over in the parking lot of the cvs, ten minutes from her house. She needed to think.
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This was Jeff’s fault, of course. Well, fault might not be the right word. But he had set this in motion. She wondered if he was happy about that now. Loving him as she did, Emma knew she needed to be careful. Especially with the way tonight had gone
Seen from one vantage point, this started five months ago when Jeff had left his phone on the counter and she saw messages from someone named “goodgirl2241.” It was news to Emma that Jeff wanted to degrade a woman in bed, but that’s what his messages said.
They were 38 years old, with a mortgage and two kids in elementary school. Plus they were mostly happy. She never considered a divorce. After a rocky week, she told him she didn’t care what he did as long as he was safe and they were honest. “Ethical non-monogamy,” as the cool people called it.
Seen from another vantage point, this started 17 years ago when they met in college. Neither was experienced and she didn’t know enough to know they had pretty bad sex. Just a slight mismatch — neither knew how to bring out the best in each other. Maybe neither of them even knew what good sex was?
Committed to her family, Emma made due with a vibrator and an active imagination.
But a month after she discovered Jeff’s would-be affair, she decided she was going to look too. Honest as always, she also told him why — he wasn’t the only one curious about kinky stuff.
Well, that had led to a rocky month. First, Emma learned that Jeff’s pursuits — which, she learned, had been going on for years — had all fizzled. Two dates, both duds, no sex, no women who wanted to call him Daddy.
Probably not coincidentally, Jeff now wanted to be kinky with her. He just never knew she’d be into it, he explained. She actually believed him. She had a hard time believing it herself.
Telling Jeff she didn’t see him as dominant had cost her a lot, even after the shit he had pulled. She loved him, after all, and it damned near broke him. Particularly when he learned that she rather desperately wanted to submit to someone. Just not him. Not anymore.
So they both agreed to look.
The thing was, 38 looked a lot better on Emma than it did on Jeff. He had just sort of … drifted. Good job but he hit a plateau. She thought he had just lost his spark. As much as Emma loved him, she wasn’t surprised at all to learn he wasn’t first on anybody’s list to satisfy a submissive fantasy.
She, on the other hand, was as fit as when she was 28 — pretty face and a petite frame that motherhood had only made a tiny bit more curvy. She was choosy with the onslaught of messages she received, and eventually whittled it down to Steve. A divorced 53-year old who lived two towns away. He’d had a big career in tech, apparently. And plenty of experience being dominant.
She was patient even after she settled on Steve. They talked about kinks and compatibilities and limits for a month. She learned that she had a lot to learn. But she was eager — this was clearly something she’d needed for a long time.
Jeff hadn’t been thrilled when she told him Friday was the big day. But what was he going to say, really? She got dinner served, the dishes done, and said she’d be back at 10:30.
Now that it was done and she was halfway home, she felt like she had to break the ice a little. She typed out a message.
“I’m on my way home. Hope the kids were good. I’ll be back in 20.”
He replied almost instantly.
“How was it?”
Fuck. She told him he shouldn’t do this. But she wasn’t going to lie. What was the point? She was 100 percent going to see Steve next week.
“It was good. I hope you had a good night too. I’ll be home soon, okay?”
“What did you do?”
Oh, Jeff, she thought, feeling a twinge of sadness for him. She could say the truth: Well, honey he made me strip in front of him then crawl to him across his floor. And then I sucked his cock in a way I’ve never sucked yours.”
Instead, she said, “do you really want to know?”
Saturday and Sunday were okay. Monday too, until Jeff asked for a blowjob. He hadn’t done that in while. It was a little pathetic. She was in bed and he’d done the dishes and gave her shoulders a rub and then flat out asked. She said she was tired but maybe later.
Jeff asked for a blowjob again on Wednesday. She sighed and asked why his submissives weren’t taking care of that. Jeff didn’t like that very much. So Emma told him to lay on his back and take his pants off and close his eyes. She rubbed his balls with one hand while he jerked off. She texted Steve as it was happening, telling she couldn’t want to “worship him again.” Steve hearted her message, and it felt like a moment, the first time she used the verb he preferred to describe fellatio.
On Thursday, Jeff asked if sex was better with Steve. She gave him a pat on the head and said she was grateful for everything he did. When he asked again, Emma said, yes, the sex was better with Steve.
On Friday, she saw Steve again. Before she left, she asked Jeff if he had any dates lined up. He didn’t, and she said “keep looking, she’s out there!”
Lying in bed with Steve an hour later, in her post orgasm haze, she said Jeff would never believe what she just did. Steve said “you never gave him a rimjob,” almost incredulously. Emma said, no, Jeff thinks I’m uptight. Steve laughed and asked how Jeff was doing with the whole situation.
Jeff begged Emma when she got home on Friday. It was a pitiful. She told him, again, he was free to fuck whomever he wanted. He said he just wanted to touch her, it was all he could think about, he loved her and had never been more attracted to her. He told her he was sorry and he had no idea she was submissive and now that she was out having fun, he couldn’t even think straight he was so horny.
She told him she was tired and they would talk about it soon. She knew he wasn’t happy and they had to figure something out. But, she said — taking Jeff’s chin in her hand and gently squeezing his cheeks together — things had changed. There was a hierarchy now. Steve was her priority sexually, and if Jeff wanted to do anything other than masturbate, he was going to have to find a way to earn it.
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