I really wasn't feeling a night out.
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I rarely ever am, and neither is she. The last few years, we have been perfectly content being homebodies. Some friends of ours even joke that we are agoraphobic. For me, that might bleed into the truth a little bit. Ever since about age 26, which was around half a decade ago, I have done just about everything to avoid crowds and engagements. Hell I don't even care for weddings after we had our own. Sometimes I fear that I was the tone setter for my now-wife Julia, that she has more of a social battery but feels compelled to be by my side, whether that's through attachment or guilt or whatever. Even though I've made it clear to her that she's always permitted to hang with others without me. It just seems more often than not we're on the same page regarding clubbing, parties, events, double dates, etc.
But I as anyone else understands there's certain things you have to do even if you really don't want to. I didn't think this was one of those times, which is why I was so caught off guard when Julia was so insistent on going out to dinner with this new coworker of hers, Grace. Her job has a lot of turnover, but Grace seemed to make a real good impression on Julia, and they clicked really well ever since she started about an month ago. Julia explained that Grace had been bugging her for 2 weeks about going on a double date with her and her fiance Michael. Even though I had never met Grace, she was real insistent that him and I would be the "best of friends." How someone can promise that without even meeting the other person? No clue. Irrespective of that, this seemed to be really important to Julia, and as she didn't go out often and didn't have too many friends living in the area anymore, I reluctantly agreed.
I had kept my curiosities about Grace to myself until it was time to get ready, about 2 hours before our scheduled dinner at our favorite Japanese place. While Julia scanned her dresser and closet, I started asking some basic questions. "Where is Grace from?" "Is she our age or younger?" "How long have she and her fiance been engaged?" Surprisingly, Julia had very little detail to add to her answers. "I just really like her vibe!" Is what she always rounded back to. I stopped pressing and watched her get ready as I was already dressed. She ended up going with with a long sleeve black dress with a half-turtleneck thing going on. It had a really nice slit in the back which made her traps and shoulders accessible with my hand. The dress also hugged her hips really nicely. I walked up behind her and started massaging her shoulders from inside her dress, and she leaned her head back into me. "Tonight is really important to me babe. Grace is so cool and I really want us all to be friends and I don't want her to leave my job like all the other friends I made there." I understood and told her I'd be my most polite and 'cool.' She smiled, and then pulled some black tights out of her underwear drawer. "You wanna help me put these on?" She asked. She knew I did. I rolled up one leg like a pro and gently placed on her foot, carefully rolling it up to her mid thigh, then repeated that for the other leg. Then I hiked her dress up to her belly and pulled the band up above her waist. Then I admired the shape the tights gave her for about 15 seconds while she blushed, then I pulled the dress back down and watched her put on her makeup.
Soon it was time to get in the car and go. We decided not to Uber as we weren't planning on drinking. Finding a place to park turned out to be more difficult than expected, so we had to hike a bit from our car to the restaurant. We walk on expecting to see Grace, but she is nowhere to be seen according to Julia, who is on her tip toes scanning the dining room. From the middle of the restaurant, a man stands up from his booth and goes "Julia?" To which Julia scowls a bit, thinking this was some creeper possibly, but then was immediately disarmed by his deep voice exclaiming "It's Michael! Grace's Michael." Her scowl turned to a polite smile, to which point we walked over to the booth expecting to see the pair on the far side. However as we approached him, we noticed he was alone. Still standing, he explains "Grace isn't gonna make it, she's so sorry but she caught a stomach bug. She really wanted us to still have dinner though, I hope you're down!"
This was such an odd situation. This went from a double date meet and greet to me and Julia having a third wheel stranger. Now we have to go through all the arduous pleasantries and awkwardness with someone neither of us had the faintest idea of his personality. This was why I didn't go out much, I loathed and dreaded these kinds of scenarios where things dramatically don't go as planned. My face starts to get flush and I explore my mind for any excuse to get out of this, but I can't think of any. It was hard to do when he's standing right there.
As he's standing there, I'm feeling a little imposed by him, as he's sort of leaning in like we are all old friends. He's a tall guy, 6'4 or 6'5, and quite built, so he's dwarfing Julia and definitely towering over me by comparison (at 5'11). And he's making dead eye contact with both us, so we need to respond quickly or else this will get real weird real fast. So Julia breaks and goes "We'd love to still have dinner. Let's sit baby." Michael beams and we sit right across from him. With Michael there, I felt a bit cramped in the booth. He chose to sit right in the middle, with his legs spread so that they're coming into both our spaces. But it's not the kind of thing you would ask him to move over for, I think at least.
So at this point, im annoyed that I'm not even meeting the famous Grace, I'm not carrying a great poker face so I probably appear salty and annoyed. I can feel Julia being frustrated with me for not going with the flow, but she knows I hate these kinds of scenarios. Michael to his credit seems unbothered, a real extrovert. So he ends up doing most of the talking, even though I'm not really listening. I'm so caught up in my own head, these thoughts of anxiety and despair at this mildly uncomfortable situation. I'm thinking of anything I can do to get out of this.. a stomach ache, a fake emergency, a bomb threat, anything, God why did I come out tonight? And how much time has passed?
My inner monologue is interrupted by a boisterous laugh from Julia to a joke I completely missed. I fake a smile and decide to start tuning in.
"So you've never been there? I'm so shocked!" Michael asked.
"No we never go out! We're real homebodies, maybe him more than me. It sounds so fun the way you describe it though. I can't believe you saw that!" Julia was really beaming. What place were they talking about? And saw what?
"That kind of thing happens all the time. I see it so often I'm just used to it by now. You should come sometime, Grace and I will go with you if it's not his thing" Michael proposed.
"If what's not my thing?" I asked.
Michael and Julia looked at each other with a grimace, as if they had an inside joke, before busting out laughing, pounding on the table.
"Oh goodness, do you want him to repeat the story, space cadet?"
"No no it's okay" I insisted, though in reality I was now really curious.
"Here, basically, the short version is, these three people were wilding real hard at this club on 5th. I think you can use your imagination for the rest"
Ah, it was a sex thing. No wonder they were being so childish about it. It seemed a little strange to me how quickly their conversation drifted to that subject. But then I looked at my phone and realized 50 minutes had passed and I was completely checked out! They have been talking all this time and I've barely participated. No wonder.
"Ugh babe my feet hurt. Can we switch sides so I can stretch out in the aisle?" Julia asked.
Before I could answer, Michael responds "Why don't you come on this side? I realize my legs are crowding you real bad, I have a tendency to man spread. If you come over here you'll be able to take some more real estate." I didn't quite follow his logic, but it seemed real convincing to Julia who quickly remarked "Sounds good!"
Before I could object, Julia was gesturing me to stand up, as she shuffled her way to the other side of the booth, plopping down next to Michael and leaving me alone on the other side.
As she sat down with a relaxed look on her face, she began "Ugh, so sorry that Grace isn't feeling well. I know she was looking forward to this."
"She was" Michael insisted. "But it's been real nice getting to know you. She told me I would hit it off real well with you."
When he said this, my eyebrows nearly lifted to the top of my head. Julia looked like a schoolgirl with this remark, blushing and touching her face with her cheek. Did he really just imply what I think he was implying? My dizzying thoughts started over again, as I remained transfixed on the body language of their continuing conversation. Every word he spoke, Julia was hanging on it, making deep eye contact and biting her lips. At one point , Michael appeared a little vulnerable, and Julia reached out and touched his hand. He interlocked it with hers, and used his thumb to rub the top of her wrist. This seemed like such an intimate moment, but my racing thoughts clouded all my audial perception. To an outsider, it would now appear that I was the third wheel, and they were the couple. As I remained focused on their hand holding, I watched in paralyzed horror as his hand lowered itself to beneath the table. I had a horrible feeling that his hand now sat atop her thigh, and was possibly carressing it as I sat there. The only way I could know for sure is if got up and saw from the side.
I said "excuse me" and shuffled out of the booth. And my suspicions were confirmed, his hand laid atop her thigh, but not grasping it. I darted my gaze away and headed for the bathroom. I gave myself a few minutes to regain my composure and reestablish control. For an hour, I had nearly disassociated, first out of antisocial selfishness, and now out of fear and betrayal. Maybe I wasn't even seeing these things, maybe it was just a manifestation of some subconscious insecurity. After all, when did I ever have anything to worry about when it came to Julia? She was my rock, my partner, my everything. I trusted her and wouldn't dare suspect that she would form a connection with anyone other than me. I washed my face a bit and headed back towards the booth.
As I walked to my seat, Michael and Julia were now shoulder to shoulder, and I peaked under to see if his hand remained on her thigh. It was, but this time, he had a grasp on it, the texture of the waist part of her tights was now visible as her dress had been moved slightly north. She didn't seem to be protesting. I said nothing at the time and went to sit, thinking of how to best confront the pair.
"Hey honey!" exclaimed Julia. Michael shot a shit-eating grin in my direction. I was angered by his confidence and his extroversion. How can he have convinced a married woman – a friend of his own fiancee – to flirt with him? I had to put a stop to this.
"Julia, we should go." I replied sternly.
"Hmm yeah it is getting a little late." I was relieved Julia agreed. As she gestured to stand up, Julia added "Baby do you mind if Michael comes back to our place? He's a little worried about getting sick from Grace since he has to go see his grandma tomorrow. We FaceTimed Grace while you were in the bathroom and she's totally cool with it."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. His grandma? Really? What a lame excuse. What kind of relationship do him and Grace have exactly? This was getting real weird real fast.
"Uh, where will he sleep?" I posited.
"I won't impose, you won't even know I'm there." He quickly replied. "Thank you so much man" as if it was already decided.
"Alright then, shall we?" Julia seemed eager to go now.
Before I could get a word in, Michael cut me off "Let's do it, I'm gonna freshen up and then I'll meet you outside."
I must have had quite a dark look on my face, because as we rushed out the restaurant, Julia suddenly got serious with me. "Okay, that was real weird. You were barely there tonight, it didn't even seem like you had the slightest clue what was going on. Did you listen to any of what we were saying?"
"I'll be honest-" I began, "I was out of it. I'm sorry. But what exactly was all that between you and Michael? Why was his hand on your thigh?"
"Seriously? You're intimidated by a little physical contact. He's engaged! And we're married! Don't tell me you're jealous? Maybe if you had been present at all you would've realized what a great guy he is, what he's been through. But no, you just shut yourself out, like always."
That last part stung, a subtle way of telling me that I'd been holding her back, which was a great fear of mine.
I could've responded with something affirming, something to let her know that I was sorry for closing myself out, for not trusting her or giving this night a chance. But instead I sulked and darted away from her eyes. As I did this, Michael rolled out of the restaurant, and asked where our car was. I didn't say anything, I just began to walk in the direction alone, while they trailed behind.
As I walked, they kept a close distance behind, maybe 6 or so feet, and maintained their conversation. I peeked back every now and then, regretting how far away I've parked as the walk seemed like it was taking forever. We came up to a curb, and I leaped over a big puddle that had formed in the street just in front of the sidewalk. As they approached it behind me, I heard Julia cry "Oh I don't want to get my tights wet through these heels!" To which Michael replied "I got you."
I turned around and Michael was holding Julia's hand from the other side of the puddle, and instructing her to jump. As she did, Michael gracefully pulled Julia's arm into his, keeping her feet above the ground and safely placing her on to the street. A true gentlemen's move. She placed her other hand on his chest and whispered "thank you" without breaking the chain with her other hand. I turned away and sulked some more, and after half a block I turned back and noticed they were still holding hands. They looked like teenagers, first loves, radiating with joy and admiration for each other. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I tried to make eye contact with Julia, but she was either locked into Michael's eyes or looking down while blushing. It was as if I wasn't there.
As we approached the car, I thought if I continued to ignore Julia and look despondent, she wouldn't eventually realize how much she was hurting me and then begin to stop and console me. I didn't know how to communicate with her directly, especially with Michael next to her, so I had hoped my body language would be enough to show her that I needed some compassion and reassurance. But as her and Michael finally caught up with me at the car, the look in her eyes towards me only showed annoyance. It's possible she wanted me to take more charge in this scenario, dare me to spoil what was her first night out in so very long. But to me know, she knows this kind of thing could constitute cheating, and that it was wrong. But maybe if that was so obvious, she would expect me to step up and put a stop to it.
As all these thoughts raced through my mind, I realized I had forgotten to unlock the car. As I went to open the drivers side door for myself, a thought rushed through my mind to run around and open the passenger door for Julia. But before I could jolt to make this desperate attempt at being a gentleman, Michael opened the rear door and smoothly said "Allow me" Michael looked at me directly as Julia climbed into the back seat, and he followed her. I would be their cab driver home, I guess.
The scowl returned to my face, as I was really expressive about my displeasure, humming and sighing whenever there was a break in conversation. But Julia and Michael mostly ignored me, as I wasn't really making any attempt to actually participate in their dialogue. Through the journey, I noticed them moving closer and closer towards each other in my rear view. They were chatting endlessly, but suddenly their chatter became barely audible. When I finally started to pay attention to what they were saying, I could hardly hear it. Then, I couldn't hear anything. Then.. I saw it.
In my rear view, my wife's lips were rubbing against Michaels lips, making conversation impossible. In my head, I screamed, but nothing came out. It was like one of those nightmares where you try to scream or talk but only gasps of air come out. As their kissing accelerated, so did his hand movements. Without a care for me, Julia allowed this man who she had just met a couple hours ago to rub her inner thighs above her tights. God her legs looked so good. As a matter of fact, his hands were really nice too, they were so big and veiny. I hated admitting it but they looked really really good in this position. Of course I was mortified as her husband, but as a fly on the wall, I would have really liked what I was seeing.
The make out session ended as I pulled up to our house. Giddily, they crawled out of the back seat without so much as a glance in my direction. Finally after about 30 minutes of silence, Julia addresses me. "Baby can you unlock the door? i don't have my keys" Not even acknowledging what just happened.
"Yes dear." And I did not acknowledge it either.
Michael had graduated from holding my wife's hand to wrapping his arm around her waist, with her returning the favor. As I fumbled my keys, I could hear them start to make out again. As if things couldn't get any worse, I saw my neighbors Tom and Sandra pull up next door.
"Hey guys!" Tom shouted. Michael and Julia momentarily broke their kiss for Julia to shoot back a polite "Hey Tom!" but then went right back to Michael. Tom and Sandra, finally catching a glimpse of what was going on, simply muttered "uh" and then awkwardly made their ways to their own front door. I still hadn't found my keys in my bag quite yet, so they pretty much got a full picture of my wife and Michael all over each other, while I simply stood with my head against the door. What must be going through their minds? What kinds of things will they say to each other about me now? I mean, they must think I approve of this, otherwise why would I let it be happening right in my own house? The next get together is going to be painful, I know it. How can I ever look them in the eye again?
We finally get in the house, and I begin searching the closet for an air mattress for Michael. But Julia and Michael have no interest in floor planning, as before I could turn around they made a b line for our bedroom. I tried to follow them shortly after, but they had closed the door behind them. I twisted the knob, and at least they had the courtesy to leave it unlocked. I pushed it open and came across a shirtless Michael, now fully embracing my wife, who was fully committed to not acknowledging me at all. My plan to sulk completely backfired. As I leaned away dejected, I caught eye contact with Michael one last time, and he shot me a look that made me feel so weak, so humiliated, that I figured it best to just let them have their privacy.
I was happy that at least they had built somewhat of a connection, that Michael seemed like a really nice guy, and that if anything, the fact that he was engaged meant he probably wasn't interested in stealing my wife. So I sat outside the door, contemplating what I should do next. As I sat there, the sounds of their love making came muffled to me through the walls and cracks of the door. "God, you're so big" I heard her say. This shot through me, now I knew they were both naked.
At one point, I heard a rip, which must have been Michael's big strong hands ripping a hole in the crotch of her tights. What a lucky man he was. "Keep them on" Michael whispered. "Go slow." Julia said intimately. Soon I heard the rhythmic quake of the bed, pounding against thr wall, the pangs occasionally accelerating and decelerating in frequency. All I could do is listen to her moans and his gasps and try to imagine what positions they were in. I looked down at the erection in my pants and wondered "How did I let this happen?"
As I wallowed some more, in between his thrusts, I heard Julia whisper "I really like you" followed by Michael "I really like you too."
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