I don’t want to be humiliated I just want her to experience the pleasure hopeful[cuckold perspective]

I’ve been married for 7 years. I love my wife deeply, but there’s always been this weight on me—a kind of sexual insecurity I haven’t been able to shake. I’m not the biggest guy, and I finish fast. That combo alone wouldn’t kill me inside if it weren’t for the fact that, in all these years, I’ve never once made her orgasm. Not even close.

She’s never said it to hurt me, but the truth sits there between us anyway. I know she wants to cum from penetration—“on a dick,” as she once put it. Those were her words, and they’ve stuck in my head ever since. She’s not super open to toys or other kinds of experimentation, and I don’t blame her. But still… it’s like I’ve spent years trying to solve a puzzle that I can’t crack. And the thing that haunts me is: my deepest fantasy, the one I can’t stop thinking about, is watching her finally cum. Even if it’s not with me. Even if I’m just in the room, seeing it happen—seeing her lose herself like that.

Lately, though… I don’t know. I feel like something’s shifted. She’s opened up more sexually in small but noticeable ways. She recently brought up the idea of selling nudes online—on Reddit, of all places—and the fact that she was into reading the comments from guys talking about how they’d fuck her… that did something to me. I could see the effect it had on her. The way her eyes lit up reading that raw, unfiltered desire from strangers. It made me wonder—really wonder—if maybe she’s starting to explore sides of herself she’s kept buried for a long time.

I’ve always wanted to ask if any of her past partners ever made her cum. We’re still young and have only had a handful of partners each, but the curiosity eats at me. Deep down, I feel like someone probably has—but if I ever asked, she’d likely say no just to spare my feelings. And even if she was telling the truth, I think some part of me would still believe she was lying to protect me. The thought of her truly losing herself in pleasure—of someone else giving that to her—turns me on more than I want to admit.

There was even this one time—right in the middle of sex—where she casually brought up a guy she met at a nightclub once. She wasn’t even being mean or cruel about it. She just said, kind of half-laughing, that he would probably fuck her harder and longer than I ever could. And yeah, I played it off like it didn’t hit me, but it did. Hard. Still, some twisted part of me got off on hearing her say it. Not out of humiliation—but out of this weird hope. Like maybe this was her way of telling me something. Of testing the waters.

I don’t know how to bring it up without risking everything or making her uncomfortable. I don’t even know if she’d go for it. But the fantasy just keeps circling my mind. The idea of her finally getting what she wants—of watching her unravel in real pleasure, even if I’m not the one giving it to her. I think about it constantly. It’s not about not loving her. If anything, it’s the opposite. I want this for her. I want to be the kind of husband who gives her everything, even if that means stepping back.

I just don’t know where this leads… or if it leads anywhere at all.