Guys I’m so confused with how I'm feeling. I've never had thoughts of my girl fucking someone else but after seeing a video of her with her ex it's all I can think about and I'm wondering if I'm a cuck.
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My fiance and I have sex, but we're not exactly the most explorative couple. She's never sent me nudes, we don't usually do oral, and never done anal sex. We've been dating for 6 years and getting married this year.
A few weekends ago we were at an airbnb on a group trip and I was smoking with a buddy I met through my fiance. It was late at night and my buddy and I were just chit chatting when he says “okay I have to confess something to you. Your gf and I used to date, did she tell you that?” I said no and asked him when and for how long. He said it was like 3 weeks before she and I started talking/dating, but it was only for like 2 short months. I asked why it ended and he said he ended up talking to another girl that didn’t end up working out. I asked if they were intimate or if it was casual. The weird thing is, when I asked, I sort of felt aroused, like I was hoping they would have been intimate. But keep in mind she only said shes only dated 4 men in her life. He said “I can't lie to you, it was intense and we did a lot of stuff.” I asked for details and he said "we sexted all the time and she sent me nudes like everyday. The only days she didn't send me nudes was when we were fucking.” I asked if he still had them and he said he did, so I asked to see them to see how provocative they were. I was sort of joking, but I was insisting because I was curious and wanted to see them.
The weird thing about this moment was, for some reason, I was turned on that he had nudes of my fiance. I was almost hoping they would be provocative. Just as weird, it seemed like he wanted to show me, too. Almost like he was bragging. He pulled out his phone and went to Google Photos and to a locked vault section, where he had to fingerprint ID to get in. When he unlocked it, a folder of videos and images of different girls popped up. Again, it felt like he was bragging. He was “slowly” scrolling through and I saw thumbnails of different girls doing different things. Nudes, a girl giving him head, mostly blurry backshot thumbnails, pussy shots, a lot of girls in lingerie doing different poses, like ass shots on their knees, face down ass up on the bed, and I saw a few with cum on their face.
After 20 seconds of scrolling I started to recognize my girl’s face. I saw her naked body, posing for him. One was a naked mirror pic, one was a selfie in the shower, one spreading her ass cheeks so her asshole was exposed, some with just her tits, one pic with her mouth open and cum inside, and one with cum on her face, which looked like two separate occasions. They were so vile. I felt like my heart was broken but I was also getting hard at the same time. My fiance never swallowed me, she said it was gross, but here I am looking at a pic of her swallowing someone else. But it gets worse. Then I started seeing thumbnails of videos of her. I told him to open it, and what proceeded was him pulling my girlfriend's hair while giving her some rough backshots. The volume was low, but I can hear her moaning and her ass cheeks clapping while they're bouncing from him thrusting so hard. There were hand prints on her ass so I knew he was spanking her and practically owning her minutes before he started recording. That video ended with him nutting inside her. I wanted to jerk off and cry at the same time. I was mixed with emotions, but watching her get pleasured by someone else was just so hot to witness. I didn't even realize this was something I enjoyed.
I assume he could tell I was interested in watching more. I told him to open the second video and it was him putting his dick slowly in her asshole. I know my fiance told me she did anal with one person, well, I found out who it was. I jokingly told him to delete them, but he said he doesn't delete anything from his past girlfriends. And I knew he said definitely not. Those are his. We changed subject but that night I jerked off to what I remember seeing and hearing. And the thought of him having all these photos and videos of my girlfriend and I couldn’t do shit about it, there's something humiliating about it that turned me on.
I confronted her on the way back from the trip and told her that he showed me videos of you two having sex. She audibly gasped and apologized I had to see that, but then said I got what I asked for. I asked her why she didn't tell me that those two dated and she said it was just such a short time, she didn't think it mattered to tell me. Plus she didn't think that we'd eventually become good friends. It sucks because I feel like my fiance feels like sloppy seconds with my buddy but I still love her, I just didn't think she'd be such a slut for him, just months before we started dating, doing all of those things that I've never even done with my own fiance.
The fact that I got so turned on by this, does this make me a cuck? This was two weekends ago and I still jerk off to it. I even considered asking my buddy to send me those photos and videos. Should I ask him for those? I don't want my fiance to know that I'm turned on by this, but should she know? What if they still think about each other, would it be the end of the world if I wanted to watch them fuck each other in front of me? I'm just confused by these new feelings. Advice is appreciated, thanks
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