Wife secret videos with ex girlfriend [cuck perspective]

Hi, First time posting here. I’m a 41 year old male married with a 40F. We have been married for 8 years, our sex life I wouldn’t say has been amazing, I feel I don’t satisfy her as I feel she would like to be fulfilled. Before being in a relationship I knew ahead of time had a 3-4 year relationship with a butch girl, you would think she’s a man. After being in our relationship I discovered so many times my wife being in contact with her ex girlfriend, there was anything sexual or with a feeling she was cheating on me but I always got jealous.

One day while helping her transfer and cleaning up her computer and a hard drive ,she has kept for so long, I discovered a 1 folder labeled as “_NO” I opened the folder and I found folders like: _Porn, XXX, LoveLetter, Iphone Photos. I opened _Porn folder and what is my surprise that there were 4 videos, 3 of them with dates just before we met and 1 with a date that was when we met.

These videos just blowed my mind, the content is just literally my wife being brained out by her ex girlfriend like crazy, kissing, scissoring, her exgirlfriend fucking my wife with an strapon, my wife moaning, groaning, just looking at her being pleased and fulfilled like never before. I saw my wife in doggy style, wearing school girl style skirt being sexy for her ex girlfriend. Also there’s a video were my wife use the strapon and fuck and moves in a way that I fantasize about my wife strapon me. The way my wife moves with the strapon blowed my mind she looks like she wants to breed the other girl.

The sound of their pussies rubbing each other being wet and looking at my wife with hard nipples while being all sweating and kissing her ex girlfriend boobs and cumming around 5 times on each video just made me feel so fucking hot, and felt and excitement I never felt before like my heart just beating so hard, at the same time feeling jealous but also excited to a point that I just felt in heaven when I jerked off to the videos for the first time.

After finding the videos I was more intrigued about their relationship so I started looking in secret to her old emails, something consistent in the emails even when they broke up it’s my wife mentioning: P.S. thank you for the blowing mind sex.

I also want to mention that while we were in a relationship there was a time we broke up and the reason is she got a crushed with a lesbian girl, she cheated on me not comming back to the house one night, she just turn off her phone and I knew she was in a party with this girl, I remember she came in the morning and I knew she had sex you can smell it, but I remember I was high and the feeling of smelling her and know she was just fucked turned me on so bad, I just started touching her we had sex but the sex was one of the best we had that I can remember.

Today she doesn’t know I know about the videos but I have shared them with other man and its so hot.

I don’t know what to do because now she’s into religion and she has said to me many times she wants to be committed to me.

But in my deeper self I would love to be cuckold by her.

Does anyone had an experience like this?