he begged to watch me cheat and then couldn’t handle it [gf perspective]

so my ex had this whole “watch me with another guy” fantasy. said it turned him on to imagine me with someone else. whatever. i didn’t take it that seriously at first. but after we broke up — but still hooked up sometimes (don’t judge) — he kept bringing it up. said he wanted it for real. wanted to see it. so i called his bluff. found a guy who’d play along, someone hot and very much not my ex. we set the whole thing up. lights low, wine poured, me in lingerie i definitely didn’t wear for the ex when we were together. and then i let him sit on the chair while i pulled the other guy onto my bed. from the second his shirt came off, my ex went silent. not mad. just… quiet. i don’t think he expected me to actually enjoy it. like maybe he thought i’d fake it? make him the center of the story? nope. i was moaning. laughing. telling the new guy how good he was. making eye contact with my ex like, “see what you missed?” at one point i looked over and he had tears in his eyes. i should’ve stopped. i didn’t. because the thing is, he asked for this. and deep down? i think i always wanted him to see how replaceable he really was. it was hot. cruel, maybe. but hot. and i don’t regret a second.