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My wife and I began dating almost by mistake. We met through a Tinder match while we were both visiting our home towns during winter break. I was in my second year of law school, and she was a junior in college but not at the same school I was studying at. No, she was attending a university on the other side of the country. After going on a few dates during our winter breaks, we both went back to our respective schools. We got along well, and so we stayed in touch.
Well, staying in touch led to talking all the time, which led to us trying the long distance thing. The only problem was we both had high sex drives and liked to fulfill those drives. So we sexted. A lot. So much so that we fell into a routine with it. Almost every Friday after our classes we would let each other know we were going back to our apartments and looking forward to “seeing” each other. We “saw” each other almost every Friday until one Friday near the end of the school year when she said it would be a little later before sexting because she was going out that night with cast and crew from a play she was in.
The play’s run had wrapped and the cast and crew was celebrating. I was happy for her and thought it would be a good opportunity to get a little extra studying in as finals approached. I told her to have fun and I would talk to her later.
I occasionally checked my phone to see if she texted me. Nothing. I didn’t hear from her the rest of the night.
The next morning, I checked my phone. Still nothing. I figured she had a late night with friends and was going to be slow to rise. I decided to go for a run before heading to the library for the rest of the day. Right before heading out the door I got a text from her. I checked my phone and it stopped me in my tracks. It was the cliched “Hey, can we talk?”
Honestly, I chuckled because it was so cliched. I figured she went out with friends and decided she didn’t want to be in a long distance relationship anymore.
I responded, “Sure.” A few seconds later my phone rang and I answered. The next few minutes were a blur, but I knew something was off the second I answered because she was holding back tears.
She went on to tell me the story of her night. How she and her friends began the night going from one bar to the next, meeting more and more of the cast along the way. Eventually they settled into a bar that had a large dance floor and thought itself a mixed bar and club. She said she was pretty drunk at that point and was having fun dancing. She was dancing with her girl friends when a guy worked his way into the group. She said he wasn’t part of the cast or crew and didn’t recognize him, but she didn’t stop when he started dancing with her.
My heart was racing. She continued.
They danced, and she said he kissed her. All I could muster was, “Okay.” Then she said she didn’t stop him. She started crying and hung up.
I just stood there, still ready to go out the door, but in a bit of a shock. Frankly, I was just as shocked at my own reaction – or lack of reaction – as I was at what she just told me. I was surprisingly unfazed. I guess I had stilled myself for this. We were in a long distance relationship after all. A moment passed and I texted her, “You didn’t have to hang up. We can talk about this.” And so we did . . .
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