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I [32 F] have a guy friend in my group who is a therapist. He helps me mental and physically with shoulder issue and since he is a friend it is kind of nice for the free therapy stuff I don’t need to pay for. My group of friends met him and his group of friends at a dinner party several years ago. Only recently he started kind of joining my group more often in the past few years.
Knowing that he is a therapist I playfully asked about my issues and stuff, including my shoulder issue. The first time I talked to him about it he said he could help and held my arms tight above and behind my head, then ever since then he will hold my arms tight behind my head like this every time we hang out. I often wear tube tops, just my fashion, and I guess he kind of touches my armpit when he holds me in a rubbing way. Nip slips have happened but always on accident. It is definitely awkward but also definitely fills the room with tension. I usually glance around like deer in headlights and me and my group of friends are extremely non confrontational so we end up just talking casually as he does this. My upper chest, shoulders, and underarms were quite completely exposed when he would hold me in this way. It wasn’t overtly sexual but oddly kind of gray area? it created a unique tension in the room I never felt before.
Many things have happened since then, but one thing that is brought up a lot in my arguments with my husband is when the friend would have us slip away to a private room during dinner parties or group hang outs and sort of bend me over and slowly almost methodically spank me. I didn’t quite know what to say or do, some have told me I entered a mode of trauma paralysis but I’m not sure. He has mention how it helps with becoming more open minded, self liberating kind of energy. Something like people’s thought of taboo or right and wrong is big reason for society always being so stress out of their mind so instead this kind of self liberation can be mentally good. I would just stay very still and grunt, occasionally I would say something to try to have us go back to the group. The first time he did this it was over my clothes, but after this had become almost a routine he hikes my dress up high around my shoulders. During one of these my husband I guess looked around for me noticing I was gone from the dinner party upstairs. When he was came down he asked what is happening and my friend immediately had me stop bending over and we just stood there. He told my husband he was helping me with some things that needed quiet space. My husband asked if I was okay and I didn’t really know a good response so I just said yes of course. He slowly went back upstairs and my friend had me bend over again, hiked up my dress and continued. I noticed my husband come back down kind of hidden on middle of the stairs, he stayed there for few minutes and then went back up. We had really big argument when we got back home later that night.
My husband argues about it to me basically. But to me he is just being friendly/helpful. I thought maybe it could even be culture difference
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