How getting cheated on became my cuck awakening [cheating]

My ex and I had been together for about 5 years when I noticed her going out a lot more than usual, wearing sexier outfits, more makeup etc. I didn’t think too much of it as I didn’t mind staying home and just enjoying my personal time but one night she left wearing a tiny skirt and a top showing a ton of cleavage. She said she’d be home in a few hours but didn’t come home. I fell asleep and she came home the next day around noon and took a shower right away. She played it cool for the whole day but I definitely had my suspicions.

Later that night she went to bed and left her phone in the living room. I got up and snuck into the living room and opened her phone and saw everything I’d suspected. Texts with them flirting, setting up times to meet up. Her camera roll was full of nudes she never sent me and pics and videos from him showing off his dick. Then I saw pics and videos of them together. It was a gut punch seeing her and hearing her getting fucked by another guy. I was shaking and in shock but put the phone down and let it go. She continued going out and seeing him and I made a habit of checking her phone when she was asleep. I was so hurt but also so turned on I had to do something with these feelings so I started jerking off to it. I had never came so hard but also felt so betrayed.

I eventually confronted her about it and she told me it didn’t mean anything other than what it was, just sex. We didn’t last much longer after that, maybe a year. But now it’s such a kink for me.