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“Please don’t go.” I silently willed Amanda as she excused herself from the room, leaving me with her friend Shane. The same friend she’s been spending a lot of nights out with recently. I’d met Shane a few times before, but only briefly, catching a glimpse of him when he’d come to pick her up or drop her off, but never had to spend time with him alone before. Not until tonight. Amanda had invited him in for a few drinks before they went to a concert together – hoping “her two favourite guys could get along” she had chirped – and now it fell to me to keep him entertained while she finished getting ready.
I didn’t like Shane; I always felt like I could detect a tone of superiority from him, like he knows something I don’t. And it wasn’t lost on me that Amanda chose to sit next to him on the couch rather than in the chair next to me. Or the way she clings to him longer than any other friend when they greet each other. Or the way her eyes light up when she talks about the time they had together. But I don’t say anything. I know it would be wrong. I had finally earned her trust back following my abusive false accusations a few weeks ago, and didn’t want to jeopardize the new peace we’d found.
And peace was the perfect word for it. I’d been given a new lease on our relationship when Amanda forgave my cruelty and allowed me to earn a second chance with her, and I was determined to make the most of it.
“I know losing your friends might hurt,” she had assured me at first, “but think of all the extra time we’ll get to have together now that I have you all to myself! It’s what I’ve always wanted anyway.” In actuality we’d never spent less time together. While I’ve been spending my newly free evenings and weekends at home, she’s been busier than ever, always out trying a new restaurant, or a new club, a new venue, a new show. Some of the time it’s been with her girlfriends. A lot of the time it’s been with Shane.
It made me sad at first that she was so absent, but I soon realized there were other ways to be close to her. I had always done most of the housework for instance, but now I took a new pride in it. Without distractions like false friends I can be even more attentive to her needs. I always wake her up with coffee, and while I’ve known her exact order since our second date it’s only recently I learned down to the second how long to roast the beans to make her happiest. When massaging her feet while she watches TV, I now know the exact spot on the floor where, if I sit, I can get the most reach without blocking her view. I know she likes her cosmetics arranged by colour and her toiletries by height. I know a thousand more things like this I never had time to observe before. It makes me feel closer than ever to her. Every new detail is a new way to appreciate her. Every extra second I spend devoting myself to her needs is a second we spend together, even if she’s not next to me. Even if she’s with Shane instead. Speaking of…
“Amanda tells me you still don’t know what’s going on.” He sneered, giving me a disdainful look. “Now that can’t be true, can it? You know exactly what’s going on.”
“I, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I muttered. Why can’t I look at him? It’s my house. I should feel more comfortable.
He smirked again. “Sure you don’t. Let me ask you something Ben, where are Amanda going tonight?”
“To… a concert?”
“To a concert. Good! Five stars!’ He chuckled, making me blush. “And what are we going to do at this concert?”
“I… I don’t know what you mean.”
“Well, what did we do at the last concert we went to? What did Amanda tell you?”
What was he getting at? “You… you watched it. You had a good time. She told me you danced together.”
“She did, did she? Did she tell you about how she twerked her ass up against my crotch in front of everybody?”
“No she didn’t.” I whispered. What was this guy’s problem? Why did he want to say these lies to me? I barely knew him, why did he want to hurt me?
“Oh Ben. Oh of course she did. Hey, did she tell you about how she grabbed my hand and stuck it up her skirt? Did she tell you how she sucked her pussy juice off my fingers during the first set? Did she tell you she missed their last song because she was too busy with my cock in her mouth?” Each of these questions caused a sharper and sharper pain in my chest. I knew it was more lies, more bullshit, but the way he said it felt so real. He was so confident, so sure… It sounded so real.
“She wouldn’t do that.” I said, willing myself to make eye contact.
“Course she would. She has. She will again. Tonight. But you know that, don’t you?”
“She’s not like that!” I shouted, glaring at him. My new willpower was fleeting however, and I soon found myself looking down to avoid his gaze again. “She’s not like that.” I repeated, weaker, as my vision began to blur and my eyes began to water. Shane seemed momentarily shocked by my outburst, but then his smile grew even wider.
“Oh my God!” He laughed. “You really don’t know what’s going on, do you? Jesus, we haven’t exactly been subtle. But you still think she’s your choirgirl. God she’s got you sewn up tight.”
Why was I crying? Why was I letting this get to me? I don’t know, but I was. I couldn’t help myself. “You know it’s not true.” I kept saying to myself. “You know Amanda would never do that to you. He’s lying, like your friends were. Just tune him out.”
Shane’s amusement soon turned to anger. “You can’t live in denial forever!” He said, sounding more aggressive by the word. “Because what Amanda and I have, that’s the real thing! We’re electric together, and you’re just a speedbump in our fucking way, got it? Let’s see how easy it is to pretend she’s not ‘like that’ when I’m living in your house and fucking her every night in your bed while you’re out on the…”
“What’s going on?” We both interrupted to look over at the staircase, where Amanda had returned. She wore a simpler outfit than normal for her outings; a grey crop top leaving just a small flash of her navel exposed and tight fitting pants that would’ve been at home at the gym, but even so she was still a knockout. I always gawk at Amanda up and down whenever she walks into a room, but now I was only focused on one thing, her severe look of disapproval.
At first I thought it was for me. I knew she had wanted me on my best behaviour at all times around her friend, and I had yelled at him. But it was to defend her I was ready to explain… I didn’t have to. I soon realized her look was for him.
“He’s crying.” She said, walking up to Shane, who failed to notice her look. “Why is he crying?”
“It’s nothing baby,” he laughed. “Just filling your cuck in. Teaching him the facts of life, you know?”
“And who asked you to do that?” She rolled her eyes, and then turned her back on him, coming to sit next to me instead. “On second thought,” she added, “I think I’ll stay in tonight. I’ll call you later.” He looked stunned.
“You’re kidding me. Baby, come on. Because the cuck got his feelings hurt? What do you care? I mean, the things you’ve told me…”
“I said I’ll call you later.” She repeated, her voice icier.
“But… Amanda, come on. Why are we dancing around like this? You know what I do to you. Our bodies are made for each other!” I tried to remind myself he was still bluffing, just trying to get under my skin. “Why are you still wasting time on this fucking loser?” She shot up out of her chair like a pouncing tiger and fixed him with a withering glare. It was one I’d seen many times when I’d let her down or failed her in some way. It always made me feel miniscule and defeated, and I have to admit I took a lot of satisfaction in seeing it had the same effect on shane.
“Because he. Is. Mine.” She growled, emphasizing every word. “Mine. Got it?” I felt overwhelmed enough to tear up again, though this time they were tears of pride.
Shane faltered, speechless for a few seconds, before he started to walk over to her, roughly kicking my legs out of the way as he passed my chair to her. He tried to hold her, and I squirmed as he rubbed his hands on her back and pressed his lips against her neck.
“Okay. Hey, sorry baby, I am. I was just busting his balls, okay? Let’s just go to that concert and forget about cuck boy here. I promise I’ll be on my best behaviour for the rest of the night. Those tickets cost a fortune, don’t let them go to waste.”
“I don’t like repeating myself. You should go.”
Shane flushed red before pulling himself off her with enough force to make me worry. “Fine.” He muttered. “Fuck it, fine. Waste of fucking time. Want to pass up a real man so you can waste your fucking life here with crybaby, okay with me. Is this how you get off you cockteasing b…”
I didn’t see the slap, but I heard it. Heard the thunderclap sound that snapped Shane’s head back. It was my turn to smile. He just stood there for a few seconds, almost still except for his heavy breathing. When he regained his composure his swagger was gone. His eyes as ground to the floor as mine had been earlier, he just shuffled toward the door, not looking back or saying another word as he let himself out.
Amanda slowly walked over to stand in front of my chair, pressing up close to me. From my seat my head was roughly at her waist, but looking up at her she looked 20 feet tall. I never thought I could feel such awe.
“You can hug me.” She said. I wrapped my arms around her waist and melted into her as I pressed my head into her navel. Hugs with Amanda feel even more intimate than sex, they’re the chance for me to lose myself entirely in her. I could feel her skin. Her fabric. Her sweat. She was all around me. All consuming. My world began and ended with her body.
“He overstepped.” She said, petting my hair. “You won’t see him again.” I squeezed her tighter.
“I… Amanda… it’s okay.” I said. “I mean, I know you like being his friend.” I don’t know why she smiled at the use of the word friend. “And I don’t want you to have to give that up just for my sake. Please don’t fight because of me. I just want you to get what you want.”
She looked down at me and smiled, cupping my face in her hands. “I know you do. You’ve been doing so much better these last few weeks. I see how attentive and devoted you’re becoming. Of course you’re not perfect yet, you’ll make mistakes, and when you do I’ll correct you. I’ll even have to hurt you sometimes, for your own good of course. But I hurt you, understand? Not him. Not anyone else. Not ever.”
She let go, and turned around, beginning to lower her pants. She laughed at the gasp I gave as her ass emerged; it had always been my favourite part of her body and I hadn’t seen it in ages. “Kiss.” She commanded. I moved up and down her cheeks, starting by peppering light pecks all over before slowly pressing my lips fully against her the way I know she likes most. I took a sense of satisfaction with each smack. As I worshipped her she seemed off in a world of her own, lost in thought while I showed my submission eagerly beneath her.
“You should ask me to marry you soon,” she said after about ten minutes, as she finally hiked her pants back up, “I think I’d finally say yes.”
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