My Cuckolding Story [real]

This may or may not be the hottest thing you will ever ready but it is real. The good and the bad. I became obsessed with cuckolding through porn as im sure most people do. It started as a private kink i would explore while stroking alone even when i was single. When my wife and i started talking initially i was into it but would never dream of bringing it up at first. Our sex life was good at first and i wouldnt even think of her with another man but as time went on and i continued to stroke to cuckold and BBC porn it became increasingly difficult to chase these thoughts away while we were having sex. The first time i brought it up was during dirty talk She was stroking my cock and teasing me with her tongue and i let her know how pretty she was when she sucked cock. As i watched her head bobbing up and down on my cock I couldnt help but imagine her sucking cock while getting fucked from behind. I let her know how hot she would look getting fucked while sucking my dick. She started sucking more intensely the more i talked about it and I came harder than i ever have. After we finished she came back to it and asked if i was serious about wanting a threesome… It was the perfect time to come clean and i told her how hot i thought she was and that the thought of her fucking another man had been on my mind alot recently. She didn’t seem into it at first so I decided to not bring it up again. I began becoming even more obsessed with the idea in my own fantasy while i stroked. About a month passed before we discussed it again, we were having dinner and she asked “Were you serious about what you said, that it would turn you on if i had sex with another guy?” I told her that I was. For context we got together very young and she was inexperienced sexually as we talked i saw a glimmer in her eye and she admitted that since i brought it up she would find herself thinking about it from time to time. i asked her if there was anybody who came to mind when she though of it and she said that there was. His name was Adam and he was a crush of hers in highschool. I encouraged her to add him on snapchat and if anything came up naturally that i would be supportive. I told her I wanted her to experience everything she feels she missed out on. She added Adam that night and only a day or two passed before he reached out to her. They hungout a couple of times at his place and although their texting sometimes took a sexual turn nothing ever came of it during the times they hungout. All in all she didn’t feel chemistry with him and it turns out he had a very small dick. I felt after that ended up dieing out naturally that she was dissappointed and at this point i could tell she wouldnt be satisfied until she fucked somebody else. after discussing she told me there was a guy who she had class with her freshman year of college who was clearly into her. This time she was much more in control, she messaged him on instagram and told him that she had fantasized about him. He sent her texts saying that he had wanted to fuck her since the first time he talked with her and ended up sending a picture of his cock.. it was HUGE. They texted almost every day for the next month before anything happened. I was travelling for work and would be gone all week and told her she should invite him over. She wasn’t a fan of having him over to the house so i got her a hotel room and she was clearly excited. Over the next week it was all that we talked about, during sex she would moan his name and tell me how badly she wanted to have his cock in her mouth and to feel him inside of her pussy. When it was in the realm of fantasy it felt so good but the closer we got to me leaving for my work trip the more nervous i became. I tried to supress those feelings to not give her mixed signals but on the night she was going to the hotel i sent a long message about how i wasnt sure about this and wanted her to go home. I tried to call but she didnt answer, she just replied with a text telling me that its not just about my fantasy anymore and she was going to go through with it. I felt horrible that night but once i got back to my hotel and laid down in bed alone every minute she didnt respond my imagination ran wild. Through all of the regrets and anxst i felt my cock starting to get hard as i thought about what was happening at this very moment. I started stroking my cock and wrote out a text that i would send to her after. I have never felt so much pleasure from jerking off, i edged myself for 5 hours that night thinking about her fucking and sucking his huge cock. Every stroke took me further into surrender. As i stroked “cuckold” transformed from a kink into an identity every edge further cemented that I am a cuckold. When i couldnt hold it back any longer i came all over, harder than i ever had before. She ended up texting me at 2am to check in but i was already asleep. I saw it in the morning and felt so much regret but i knew the second i started stroking again i would fall right back into it. When we got to text next she told me about the mix of pain and pleasure she felt taking a cock as big as hig, she said he was 10 inches and VERY thick. Soon after our sex became less and less.the only time i would cum is when she would share texts and experiences she had with him. Eventually they stopped talking and she told me she wanted to hook up with a guy at work. At this point i was fighting very hard against being a cuck because of the mixex feelings it gave me. I told her i wasnt comfortable with that but at that point it didnt matter. In the end she left me for this guy from work. It ruined out marriage but even up to the end I would stroke to the thought of her with the guy she ended up leaving me for. It fully ruined our marriage but its still hard to regret. I still struggle between fighting it and accepting that i am a cuckold and that is what makes me horny. Moving into my future relationships i am still not sure if i should surrender to it discuss it before getting serious or try to over come it. This was long but I wanted to put it out there the good the bad and the horny.