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We’ve been close for more than a decade now, talking on and off over the years. Back then, we never had the chance to have sex because she was in foster care—strict rules, strict curfews. She didn’t have sex with anyone throughout high school, including a guy she was with for two years before she met me. The hardest part for me was that she was mandated to be on birth control by the foster home, since it was filled with teenage girls. The next two years felt like torture. I was just waiting for her to age out at 18. But when she finally did, things only got worse.
After she turned 18, she moved three hours away back home. Not long after, she met a new guy on Facebook who happened to live in the same city. They were together for years, and I constantly had to hear about how he came inside her multiple times without getting her pregnant. She was required by foster care to receive birth control in the form of an injection, which remains effective for several months. On top of that, he abused her, and she eventually left him.
Over the years, up until last year, she went on to have five other relationships. The most recent one was also the briefest—extremely brief compared to what she and I have shared, lasting less than a couple of months. Him included, they all got to finish inside her, still with no consequence of an unwanted pregnancy. When I found out about that, I blew up at her. We stopped talking for a while after I threw it in her face, pointing out how she had just met him, while we’ve gone more than a decade without ever having sex.
In recent months, I’ve tried confronting her about whether she enjoys having sex with other men while denying me. She never outright says no. Instead, she avoids the question. Her responses are usually along the lines of, “No, I’m not trying to have sex right now.” Yet after a few drinks recently, she lightly joked about picking up her phone and hooking up with another guy right then and there, intentionally teasing me further.
She insists on remaining single for now, which feels like a continued denial of sex with me. The door is still open for us to eventually be together, but there’s also the possibility that she could have sex with another man before me. She says she’s open to moving in with me—but only if she can remain single and continue this no-sex streak between us for an undisclosed amount of time.
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