I think.. my wife is thinking about it? [cuckold]

I’ve shared parts of this story a few times, so apologies if this sounds redundant to anyone. My wife and I have been married for about 12 years. We are each other’s only sexual partner, and got married around 21. Part of this has to do with religious upbringing, the typical Christian “wait until marriage” thing. That religious part of our life has worn off, and since then we’ve steadily incorporated things that would have once been considered off the table.

A bit of description of us both. I’m a 5’9, pretty typical looking white guy with an average body. I sort of define the 50th percentile, if that makes sense. My wife is genuinely beautiful, and I say that with and without bias. She is in her early-30s but looks like she’s in her mid-20s. She is about average size-wise, but an extremely nice ass and very big tits (DD). She is about 5’5. She has blue eyes and medium length brown hair. Beautiful smile and energy.

Since I married my wife so young and we grew up in the environment we did, I’ve always had the picture in my head of her being extremely innocent, not the type who likes rough sex, etc. Our sex life has always been good, or at least I thought, but not very dominant etc. Generally the best luck I’ve had getting her off is with my mouth, but I’ve never given her an orgasm with fucking before. Like any other sex life, some things get repeated over time. Always in the back of my head I wondered: am I really doing enough for her? Am I actually satisfying her?

One day I bought a dildo for her, and she was extremely hesitant. Didn’t know whether she wanted to try it. Fast forward, we did, and she had an intense, leg-shaking orgasm with the just the in-and-out movements. She told me, “it was ok,” but I was skeptical. I had never seen her react like that before. A few years later, she admitted that she fucked herself with it quite a few times secretly. The size made a big difference, I’m about average and the dildo is realistically big (say 90th percentile).

The dildo took a bigger and bigger part of our sex life, and now she is not afraid to admit it when she wants it. So many times, which is both hot and humiliating, she’ll tell me to get it when I say I’m about to cum so she can have some more fucking. She’ll moan in extreme pleasure for another 15ish minutes, making me feel like I didn’t get the job done.

Porn has become a bigger factor in our life too. We tend to watch threesome videos or just ones of a guy fucking a woman from his POV. Her dirty talk makes me leak. She’ll say that she’s jealous of the women in the video, that I’ve never fucked her like that, etc. What’s also really hot is she LOVES FMF videos, and the idea in real life, but with me not involved. I find it so hot that she wants to be degraded in a FMF but without me in the picture. What has surprised me the most is how much she loves the really rough videos, guys absolutely manhandling the woman. She’ll cum to these effortlessly, making me realize that I definitely do not get the job done.

Now? I’m not sure if this will ever translate to real life, or if I want it to? I feel very mixed, because I enjoy pretending enough and it avoids complications. My wife says she doesn’t want to in real life some times, but others (if she’s had a drink or two) she’ll say there are scenarios she would meet up with someone or do a MFM with me and another guy.

She specifically mentioned one guy we met on a trip recently which was shocking, saying that she thought about getting tag teamed by us a few times. And, there’s a guy at the coffee shop she frequents who she said is a “9/10, really tall” etc. it’s mostly a joke, but in those horny states she has told me she would meet up and fuck him, theoretically of course. When she’s out of that mindset she is always telling me, “never, I just like to talk about it” etc. However, when we are horny and dirty talking, I’m always telling her she needs to find a couple to fuck, or a guy to fuck her and she gets soooo turned on by it.

Where do you guys think we are at? Does my wife want the real thing? Should she do the real thing? feeling a mix of emotions