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Hey everyone, using a throwaway account because im just completely spiraling right now and i have no one else to talk to about this. I messed up badly but at the same time the sexual thrill is insane, and idk what to do.
Basically i am 32m and my wife is 28f. We have been together for 8 years now, married for 5. For a long time i had this cuckold fantasy but i was always too terrified to tell her anything because she is very old school and conservative.
But like 3 years back she started talking about this new guy at her office, lets call him X. Hes 34 but looks way younger, like 27, very fit gym body and a total gentleman. He got divorced early and is single. She kept saying how sweet and funny he is and i was honestly shocked because she NEVER talked about other men like this before. I thought ok this is my chance.
I tried to get her to invite him home but she said no first. But i could sense she secretly liked him. So I actually went out of my way to get his number from a work contact and met him casually outside just to force a friendship. I managed to pull him in as a family friend and he started visiting us often.
After like 7-8 months we planned a trip to Goa in his car. One night there when he was half drunk I just asked him directly “do you like my wife?” He just stared at me like what are you asking. I panicked and said just be honest its between us. He got quiet and just said “bro lets sleep, its not good to continue this convo.” I couldnt sleep at all that night. I felt like a total idiot, thought I ruined everything and fumbled my whole life. I was so scared he would tell her.
But the next day he was acting normal. Then that second night in Goa he called me for a drink in his room. I was scared to face him but he pulled my hand and said bro come. We were just watching cricket and he was drinking. Finally he said “look I like her, I love her company, but i dont want a serious relationship because my divorce fed me up with commitment. I just want to go with the flow.”
When he said that my brain just stopped. I realized he was trying to hit on her. I was so incredibly happy and excited. I wanted to tell him im a cuck but i didnt want to sound crazy, so I just hinted it. I told him after marriage our life became boring but since he came i see her happy, so he is like family now. He told me “just be open, you can trust me.” So I finally confessed my fantasy.
After Goa everything changed. I started helping him behind the scenes. I would plan outings and tell my wife to go ahead alone and meet him because I was “busy with work” and then cancel at the last minute so they could be private. I told him all her favorite things so he could surprise her.
She started falling for him hard. She never cared about makeup or parlor or dressing up when she was with me, but suddenly she started doing all of it. Seeing her get all dressed up to meet him made me feel so jealous and so hot at the same time.
Then I got a 2-day business trip to another state. I told him I wont be there and to grab the opportunity. I even told him she is scared of horror movies so he should use that. That night I was waiting for her text but she didnt message anything.
The next morning he messaged me everything. They watched the movie, she got scared and hugged him, and he started kissing her neck. She stopped him first but then they started making out and had sex right on my bed. He said she was so passionate and submissive and even asked him to spank her, things she NEVER did with me in all these years.
Reading that i felt so guilty but also intensely turned on. I realized i made this happen. I thought she was shy but he ignited a wild side of her I never could, and knowing another guy was taking her right in our bed was the ultimate rush. But right after sex she started crying heavily in regret and felt bad for cheating. He consoled her and said it was a mistake and they should pretend nothing happened.
When I came back after 2 days she was totally upset. She lied and said it’s just periods mood swings. But for a week she completely avoided me. If I went near her in bed she pulled away. She also didnt talk to him for 10 days. I panicked because I felt we did something wrong, so I told him to talk to her and sort it out but let’s slowly stop this and just be friends like before.
He called her to talk alone. He apologized for that night and said he just wants to see her happy and won’t touch her again. But she got tears in her eyes and suddenly she hugged him and they started making out again. He took her to his place and they had sex for hours.
When he dropped her back I could see a total glow on her face. She lied to my face saying she had pending work at the office. Then he messaged me “bro she is okay now, she is enjoying sex with me so no problem for your life, we can continue this. She is also into this now, you can also enjoy this.”
And honestly, a big part of me loves this. Knowing she is being thoroughly satisfied by a fit, handsome guy and coming home with that flush on her face turns me on like crazy. I want to keep enjoying this dynamic, but I am simultaneously terrified because she is moving away from me emotionally.
If this continues like this, I know the sex and the cuckold thrill will be amazing, but she is completely ignoring me now in daily life. When I touch her it feels like I am touching someone else’s girlfriend. She has entirely lost interest in me romantically.
We were planning for a baby this year, she was the one who always said we will have a kid after 2-3 years of marriage. But now when I ask her she says we need to delay it for another 2 years. She is completely mentally detached from me.
Im honestly fine with this exact situation right now as long as she doesnt leave me. I am completely fine with her sharing her body with him and enjoying him to the fullest, she can keep having sex with him as much as she wants. It turns me on too much to lose it. I just want her to stay with me at the end of the day. I just wish things continue like this forever where he gets his fun and she stays as my wife, I just hope she doesn’t move so far away that she completely cuts me out.
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